Another one of my “creepy” stories from the past. Enjoy.
Letter to the Accident Insurance
It was a bright crisp morning as I left my home. It was so bright that I had to wear my sun glasses. the sun’s reflection was blinding my sight and I had to grope my way over the road. There was a sound of crunching as I stepped onto the crispiness of the morning, the temperatures being below freezing point. You are perhaps thinking, why does Mrs. Angloswiss take such chances. Perhaps it would have been better if I had stayed at home, but I was on a mission. I was charged to follow the words of the WordPress daily prompt. Who are WordPress you are asking and why was this so important? There are certain things in life that cannot be explained. If WordPress calls, you answer and do not ask questions.
To continue: the next trial was upon me, my mobile phone began to ring. I have a rather loud “RING RING” sound on my phone as my hearing is no longer as good as it was, and it is important that my calls are answered. It might be that the Pulitzer people are calling to inform me of my prize winning blog. However, this time it was a call from my faithful and trusty WordPress helper, Wordy.
“Hello Wordy, I am on my way on a WordPress job, so I do not have a lot of time.”
I told him on the mobile phone. Wordy then spoke, no screamed, into the phone saying
“Mrs. Angloswiss, go home, this is a hoax, your life is in danger.”
I was startled, I froze (it was cold).
“Don’t freeze Mrs. Angloswiss, move immediately, they are here.”
At this moment I heard the screeching of tyres on the crispy road surface and I turned my head to see a speeding car approaching. The driver had a death defying glance in his red rimmed eyes and the last I saw was his black t-shirt with the words “Wordpress daily Prompt Trio No. 4” in red dripping letters – was it blood? I had no time to decipher the meaning of this action. Yes the car hit me with the full force of its weight and speed and I spun into the air. My complete life of successful blogs flew before my eyes and I screamed.
I awoke in a hospital bed, surrounded by Mr. Swiss and Wordy and I smelt, no stunk. I must have been lucky. The devil driver of WordPress Daily Prompt Trio No. 4 hit me with such a force that I was torpedoed into the air and arrived on a pile of cow manure which was a soft, although rather smelly, landing place. This broke the fall, and luckily I only had bruises and a few torn ligaments, which in time would heal. Of course the hospital staff were unsure whether I was bruised or whether they were stains from the cow dung which had deposited itself on my body.
I saw Wordy was concerned.
“I tried to warn you Mrs. Angloswiss, but it was too late. Negative forces within the organisation planned to jeopardise todays prompt and decided that an attack on our star blogger would bring the biggest impact. You could have been killed.”
“Yes Wordy, luckily there was a pile of cow recycled matter to break my fall.”
“When I heard your scream through the telephone I organised my Wordy group and told them to grab the softest material they could find. We used warp speed and succeeded in building a layer of cow dung.”
“Thank you Wordy, but hay might have smelt better.”
“It was the wrong time of the year for hay, but there is always a fresh supply of nice soft cow dung on the fields.”
Mr. Swiss was looking concerned and told me that I could have swopped the theme of the daily prompt for a good joke. Unfortunately Mr. Swiss did not know any good jokes and with my luck I might have choked when laughing at the joke.
As you can see, Mr. Insurance manager, this was a chain of unforeseen circumstances, out of my control. I would be grateful if you could examine the matter closer and meet any hospital expenses incurred by this unfortunate accident. All legal costs will be covered by my WordPress insurance – do I have one.?
Angloswiss, Blogger of the year