Even peonies know when they have had enough and this one has. I was nice while it lasted, but there is now a time to produce a few seeds. It’s last message was “be back again next year, same time, same place”.
Daily Archives: 08/06/2016
Discover Challenge: The Origin story of Angloswiss
“Mum, where did I come from” was the first question I asked in connection with the origin of me being me. It was quite obvious that the question was unexpected and even a cause for embarrassment, but I persisted. I wanted to know the truth, I must have arrived from somewhere. I had heard of the words “immaculate conception”, but at the age of 4 I did not really know what it was all about, and we were Church of England in any case. Mum always said she was Church of England and she even got married in a wedding dress with dad in his uniform.
“I found you beneath a raspberry bush” was the answer, after exchanging a few strange glances with dad. He nodded, but he always nodded, because what mum said was the law. I quite liked raspberries, but I had actually never seen a bush as in the East End of London we were lucky to have a weed survive in our garden, I wondered where the raspberry bush was. I decided it must have been on a holiday, but mum only went on holidays before she got married and we all know that babies have mums and dads. I was very disappointed, especially after reading a story about a baby found in a basket in front of a door. I spent days, weeks, searching at home for this basket and I decided mum must have sold it. The golden crown that had been attached to the basket was also nowhere to be found. I assumed this had also been sold, as we never seemed to have money at home.
Mum and dad had friends that lived in the country and we would pay a visit for a long week-end now and again and there I saw my first raspberry bush. I was not impressed. I was a baby found amongst grass, weeds, cobwebs and all sorts of strange crawling insects. When we returned home I continued my search for the crown. I was sure that I was meant to inherit the throne of England.
It seemed that there were two kids already lined up for the job. My rightful heritage was taken by usurpers. In the meanwhile I was still thinking about this immaculate stuff, but it got very complicated and it seemed that dad was not necessary. Mum stuck to the story about the raspberry bush and my aunt also confirmed it, but my aunt did not have any children. Mum was always concerned about the money we did not have and one day I had another question.
“Mum, how much did I cost.”
This was again a wrong question. Faced with embarrassed glances and a red face, I got worried. Was I the reason that we never had money, because of my price. Mum must have gone to this place where the babies are, picked me out and asked how much. I must have been one of the special offers as we definitely could not afford a princess, or even a lady-in-waiting.
I remember when I was a kid I would play with lots of empty tins that looked similar to the one on the left, they were even the same rusty colour.
“What are those tins mum?”
“They had the milk powder that I would mix for you when you were a baby.”
“I thought milk came from a cow.”
“It was after the war and milk was rationed. We only got it in tins. Luckily I got more as I had a baby and I could give some to the rest of the family.”
It seemed that all the cows had been rationed and I realised that I was an special offer in the bargain basement. Not only that, but it was a package deal, buy me and you get free milk supplies for the rest of the family. I could see my rightful inheritance fading into the background. Did the Queen of England also have empty tins from the powdered milk?
This was leading nowhere, from a raspberry bush to empty tins of dried milk from the Ministry of Food. I survived these hardships of life. In my later life I had my own family. My kids never asked me where they came from, I left it up to their father, he could explain so much better in Swiss German. We had raspberry bushes and blackberry bushes in the garden, also an apple tree and once I even had gooseberries, so Mr. Swiss could take his pick about their origins. We have more cows in our village than peoplewhich elimated the excuse about dried milk.
Daily Prompt: And another embarrassing prompt?
“Joe, what’s with the daily prompt today?”
“Nothing, I got one.”
“Great, but no-one is seeing it, we have no answers.”
“It must be there. The automatic prompt machine was switched on yesterday. I did it before the party.”
“But it is not working Joe. The machine is striking. Did you do a re-boot, to make sure?”
“No need, modern technology does it all. I can see the new blue gridded window, looks great.”
“Yeah, super, very aesthetic, but it is empty. No-one has turned up for the event. Did you do another check after the party yesterday.”
“Heck, it was way after midnight. We were celebrating and that sort of thing runs all on its own. Have a look in the reader, there are lots of blogs all about the new theme of the day.”
“The problem being that no everyone looks in the reader, they get a mail in their in-box to tell them the new prompt has arrived and then they all rush to the new skyblue grid to partake. Joe, it’s like getting an empty box for Christmas, there is nothing inside.”
“My cat loves empty boxes. Even if I put something inside it, he empties the box and sits in it for hours.”
“Sorry to disappoint you Joe, but these are real live humans that look in on the daily prompt, some of them even suggest the word to use. They don’t sit at the empty computer and play with the keyboard, they write things, they tell everyone about it. You know that can get a little frustrating if they write for 20 minutes, press the buttom and no-one sees anything.”
“Yea, but you know the party and all that. We had a real ball, and when Fred’s beer glass fell over on the computer it was a real laugh, all the letters were disappearing. The connections got a little wet – oh sorry that was yesterday’s prompt. That one worked, did you see it boss, it got 118 entries.”
“Great and today we have 0 entries. Did you get the letters back again?”
“I ain’t sure, I think that was when I fell asleep. I thought that was why we had a reader. You know, if you can’t find it on the grid, it is bound to be in reader. Look boss, there are all the answers that the people wrote in the reader.”
“Yeah, great, but it is only the people you follow that you see in the reader. All the others are left out in the cold.”
“On my grid it says that there are 70 bloggers liking the prompt, that is success.”
“Joe I like watching ball games and reading science fiction. I even like reading the New York times, but it don’t mean a lot if I can’t get a ticket, buy the book or if my paper boy is sick and doesn’t deliver the paper. People get disappointed beause they don’t see anything.”
“Have you tried the refresh button?”
“For the last two hours every five minutes and nothing happens.”
“Ok, I will have a look later. Now I have to get some rest, I have a headache and don’t feel so good. Must have been the Tequila I had to go with the beer. My mum always told me to stay away from the Tequila.”
“And what are our disappointed customers supposed to do in the meanwhile?”
“They could go for a walk and enjoy the fresh air instead of sitting at a computer. It would be more healthy. Or they can have a look in on the reader, that’s where the crowd meets and write something for later. Boss I don’t feel too good, those parties can be really heavy sometimes.”
“What were you celebrating?”
“The success of the one word prompt, everyone loves them.”
No offence meant, I love the new prompt system and am sure that Joe and the gang do their best for us all, but mistakes can happen. No body’s perfect. The embarrassing moments make the fun.
Good Morning
I have a sort of ritual in the morning after ensuring that I am awake and active enough to carry it through. First of all I open the kitchen window and step out into the fresh air to check that everything is still functioning as normal. Since certain neighbours moved away, there are no longer cigarette butts laying on my lawn to collect. I did not even realise that they had gone until someone told me. They were ok, it was just the cigarette ends flying around if it happened to be a windy day. I mean you can empty the ash tray now and again.
I then check my estate to see that everything is still as it was since yesterday. No weeds on my lawn. Actually I have a small confession to make. It was a couple of days ago I noticed a mound in my perfect green lawn, that my automatic lawn mower, Mowey, mows daily, no, there were three mounds. On a closer look I saw that the mounds were alive with the sound of little ant feet, hundreds of them. Ants in my lawn, no, this is not allowed. I had visions of territorial expansions and just mounds with stalks of grass in between. It was an emergency situation and so Mrs. Angloswiss boiled water and poured it over the ant mounds. I knew that some grass would have to sacrifice its life, but it was either grass or the ants, and I had made my choice. I now have a bare patch in my lawn, the overall effect of an english lawn has gone, due to the ant invasion and the subsequent results of boiling water. I also emptied a bottle of the cheapest mineral water with gas over the patch to ensure that Queen ant suffocated due to the gas removing any oxygen in her nest.
I was successful, the ants have disappeared, although I am not so sure about my lawn. I have now thrown some grass seeds on the bare patch and hope that it might grow again. Mr. Swiss was away when this drama happened and is not so happy about the result. Otherwise my trusty gardener, Jason, will do his best when he returns some time next month to cut the hedges.
What I really wanted to talk about, to change the subject, is the success of my avocado stone, pip or whatever it is called. It is still growing, see photo above, and looks quite promising. It is not bearing fruits up to now, but who knows what will happen. I had another two stones growing, but they died through thirst. They had water, but I did not check. The water level had receded and the bottom of the stone dried out. This is death to a growing avocado, as it needs constant moisture whilst in the beginnings of the growing stage for the root production. I think it is time that I make another one of my famous avocado salads to start a new plant.
I had very good news yesterday from London. My friend visited my dad and said she had a good hour’s conversation with him and he is doing well. He asked for a cup of tea and the nurse brought two cups, one for my friend as well, with some biscuits. I am so glad he is so well looked after. He even decided he should now have some money in his room in case he wants to buy something. Yes, dad is back on track at the moment and making plans for a shopping expedition and I am so glad.
I must now go. There is work to be done and today they let me out to the shopping center. There is only a 20 minute shower cleaning ritual to be done today, and the work is finished until next week. Be good, keep blogging. I will be paying my visits later. I hugged my bed longer this morning and must now do my morning gymnastics with various cleaning appliances.
Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss 