If you were involved in a movie, would you rather be the director, the producer, or the lead performer? (Note: you can’t be the writer!).
Photographers, artists, poets: show us CELEBRITY.
“Where is Karl? How am I to be expected to produce an epic horror film without the leading actor?”
“Did I hear you call my name boss, sorry I am late, but my presence was required at a party: one of those events where they needed a genuine attraction. It was a dress-up party with a horror theme and I was the star of course.”
“OK, Karl, forget the weak excuse. We are all waiting for you. Dementia Mort has been laying on the gravestone for an hour waiting for the shooting to begin.”
“Yes boss, and I am sure to get rheumatism from those cold stones. Aaahtishoo! You see I have already got a cold, probably pneumonia. Why do we always have to do these horror films so realistic? We could have built a set in the studio, but no, we have to do it in an old rotting graveyard. Yuck! There is a spider crawling over the gravestone.”
“Sorry Dementia” answered Karl “but I was really being celebrated at the party. They were fascinated by my life-style acting.”
“Karl, can we begin? Dementia are you ready?” said the producer.
“Boss I have been ready for an hour.”
“I see you have found time to visit the make-up Karl. At least we can start without having to fit the Dracula fangs and give your eyes a red tinge.”
“No buts Karl. Shoot!”
And the cameras began to whirl. Karl bent over Dementia, aiming his fangs at her neck and there was a scream.”
“Dementia, your scream was too early, Karl does not yet have the blood dripping from his teeth.”
“I was trying to tell you boss, but you are not listening…”
“There is no time to listen Karl. What is wrong Dementia, did you sit on a thorn?”
“No, boss but it was the fang. It was too sharp.”
“Dementia it is only plastic. Karl, I like realism, but not too much, just be more careful. Let’s shoot the scene again.”
“Boss I think we are going to have a problem with this scene.”
“A problem? Karl all you have to do is bite on the blood capsule in your mouth and make as if you have pierced the jugular vein on Dementia’s neck. Is that so difficult?”
“It was the party yesterday evening, something was wrong.”
“Tell me about it Karl and then we can continue.”
“There were a couple of gate crashers around midnight and they were dressed to look like vampires, but I think they were vampires. I was drinking red wine and they somehow changed my glass.”
“Karl make it short, so we can shoot the scene. It is getting darker and we have no floodlights.”
“I was trying to tell you, boss, it was not red wine they gave me. Afterwards I noticed that my teeth began to grow and today I have been having problems with the day light.”
“Tell me about it afterwards Karl. This pause in the shooting is costing at least $500 an hour.”
So the shooting of the film continued. It was really very realistic and the producer was pleased. Karl had a bad conscience. He enjoyed piercing Dementia’s neck and found it very refreshing. Dementia fell into a trance according to the script, but it was so genuine that they had problems waking her afterwards. Karl had a bad conscience. He did try to tell the producer that he had no time to visit make-up before the shooting and it was all genuine. No plastic teeth and no blood capsule, but he had to admit it was more fun.