22 | February | 2014 | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss

Ever been dumped by a boyfriend or girlfriend? Was it a total surprise, or something you saw coming? Tell us your best worst breakup story. Never been the dumpee, always the dumper? Relate the story of a friend who got unceremoniously kicked to the curb. Change the names to protect the innocent if you must.

Photographers, artists, poets: show us RELEASE.

Sky over Feldbrunnen

Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent, although I do not even remember the names and I am always innocent.

I had a stormy time in one of my relationships when my boyfriend was struck by lightning, or did I tell him to stand under the tree?

Enough said. It seems that the powers that be in the WordPress central are being very inquisitive. I am now approaching the platinum oldie age, the golden days are slowly slipping into the background, and I really cannot remember who, where and why and I am sure they cannot remember me either.

Of course I could tell them about my worst breakup story. The one where I discovered my boyfriend was going out with my best friend. I was found not guilty of attempted murder.. I did not really mean to hurt them, just two warning shots and the judge was convinced it was an accident. I did them both a favour, as they did not marry. I think she married a circus clown and he entered a monastery.

One of my ex-boyfriends was a millionaire. He was quite wealthy and he really seemed to like me, but he had had the irritating habit of eating garlic. I like garlic myself, but I know when to eat it and when not and definitely not when I was going out on a date. Unfortunately he could not swim. How was I to know that? Just after he had bought the engagement ring, genuine diamonds, he drowned, so I was on my own again. I managed to sell the ring for a few thousand and the coronary’s office reached the verdict of accidental death. There were no witnesses at the lake. I made sure we were on our own and I had a good lawyer.

As far as my real love life is concerned, I am happily married (since 46 years) and if Mr. Swiss blogged he would confirm this fact, but he does not blog (thank goodness).

This is a short episode today. I have just spent an hour in the garden with Mr. Swiss removing the memories of winter. When you become a golden oldie, your back tells you to stop and I have a pizza to make for the evening meal.

I am now looking forward to reading your stories of unrequited love and how you dealt with the situation. Perhaps you tried to push him under a train, from a bridge into a deep river, or put some arsenic in his soup – there are many ways. It might just have been a little argument and a bullet in the gun was accidentally fired. Anyhow I hope it is a real juicy breakup story, sort of “50 shades of how to dispose of your boyfriend and get away with it”.

Daily Prompt: Tainted love

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