“Ready Tabby, ready Nera?”
“Ready for what Mrs. Human?” the two felines asked, looking at me with that “is she mad” look in their eyes.
“Its end of January, time for the annual visit to the uncle doctor for your jabs.”
“Forget it Mrs. Human, do you have a death wish or something. No self-respecting feline goes voluntarily to the vets.”
Tabby then retired to the top of the cupboard where it was impossible to get her and Nera disappeared outside. Only Fluffy was left, but it was not his turn. Fluffy likes a ride in the car but he will be his turn next week. Mr. Swiss and I were left with a problem: thirty minutes to spare to get the two felines into the car. Suddenly Mrs. Swiss called.
“I have them both in their cages. They are ready to go.”
“How did that happen?”
“No problem, just opened a tin of tuna and they were both suddenly in the kitchen after hearing the sound of the tin opener and munching away. I just picked them up and packed them in the cages.”
I had a look. Nera was snarling “let me out, let me out” and Tabby was scratching at the bars.
“Mrs. Human, that was not fair” said Nera.
Mr. Swiss and I put them into the car and we were off to the vets. We arrived and the two felines were waiting for the treatment. I must say Tabby was quiet and waiting with no problem and took the treatment calmly.
It was then Nera’s turn.
“Just a moment” said the vet and sent her assistance to organise the preparations. The assistant returned complete with two strong leather gloves gauntlets, and a large thick red blanket. Nera was packed with strong leather covered hands and put on the table, her head being hidden under the blanket. On the way she resembled the horror hound from a Hollywood film, showing four very long teeth with her mouth wide open and I could swear there was sparks and flames showing in her eyes. She did utter a few snarls and growls to complete the picture.
“Mrs. Human, what are you telling everyone? It was my right to defend myself. I was insulted by two females who had no respect for such an important member of the feline family. I am a direct descendent from Bastet and should be treated as such. My dignity was insulted – no, don’t put that photo here for all to see.”
“Sorry Nera, but this photo is unique. As you received your life saving jab and had the full attention of a vet and an assistant. Shame we cannot see your wonderful facial features, but they were covered by a red blanket.*
“Mrs. Human hissssssss. I will kill you.”
“No-one is going to be killed. You will survive, Tabby has survived and when we arrive home you can finish the plate of tuna fish you left. OK”
With thoughts of a waiting plate of tuna fish, the return journey was peaceful, Nera watching the changing scenery from the car. When we arrived home and opened the cages the felines jumped out in a split second.
And so the deed was done for another year. Mr. Swiss and I both relaxed and when we arrived home we had two felines that had already forgotten their morning adventure and finished their tuna fish in the kitchen.
Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss 