FOWC with Fandango: Written

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“What are you writing.”

“Do not disturb,  I have to concentrate.”

“Show me.”

“I have only just started.”

“Perhaps I can help, you have been staring at your telephone for the last five minutes, but there has been no action. Let me have a look. It just says “shopping list” with a date, and even the date is wrong.”

“I know I have to alter it.”

“So what are you putting on the shopping list.”

“I have no idea, so don’t disturb me with your constant questions when I have to concentrate.”

“Our shopping list is on a cloud, so what I write you have as well, and I have added potatoes.”

“No way.”

“What have you done.”

“As you said, the list is on a cloud so I have removed potatoes. I do not need potatoes.”

“But I would like a potato salad.”

“Forget it, too much work.”

“Why can’t you write a list like anyone else on paper, like our mums and dads did.”

“Because I prefer to write it on my telephone.”

“But it would be much easier to just jot it down.”

“There is one problem, I cannot read my handwriting and it looks much neater.

FOWC with Fandango: Written

RDP Tuesday: Spacious

Alps 07.03 (8)

“If it wasn’t for the mountains in between we would have so much more space.”

“What do you mean Mr. President?”

“What I say of course. All those peaks, going up and down. Get rid of them, flatten them. Think of the wonderful golf course that could be created.”

“But what about the people that like to climb mountains or even ski on the snow slopes.

“Stupid idea. Why climb mountains when you can use a golf trolley to travel from hole to hole. That is much more fun. Get rid of the mountains, then there is no need to go skiing. No the mountains have to go. I solve all my problems by eradication. Look at our wonderful country. It belongs to us and we do with it what we want to.”

“But the tourists?”

“Who needs tourists? They should stay where they are. As soon as you get tourists, they decide they want to stay and our country is overrun by unwanted visitors. We need space, not tourists.”

“But if we remove the mountains, what shall we do with the removed piles of earth.”

“Use your brain if you have one. Build a wall around our country with it, that will stop the unwanted entering.”

RDP Tuesday: Spacious

Good Morning

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It has been quite a busy morning. First of all I heard the noise of machines outside and my gardener arrived. I called him last week and he said he would come along this week. I need no further discussion. He knows where I live and as access to my garden through the path. It was necessary to cut my hedges as they were growing quite wild. Living on an estate people tend to see what the others have for organisation otherwise word soon gets around that Mrs. Angloswiss has untidy hedges.

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As you can see there was quite a bit of hedge material removed and they are now busy  tidying it away.

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Two guys arrived and were busy all morning, but they did quite a good job.

My cleaning lady also arrived, so I felt like the lady of the manor this morning with so many servants arriving to look after my needs.

I was busy this morning organising a few documents for the cleaning lady. She has been employed by me for a couple of years and now our authorities want to make it official. I was not sure what she had organised on her side but now it is all sorted. I phoned our local office and they were very helpful and said I had time to complete their document until end of the year. I also had to organised an insurance for her. You never know if she falls from a ladder when cleaning, so I also contacted my insurance man and that is also being dealt with.

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Again I am a bit short on time this morning. Whilst dealing with my various servants I had to begin cooking lunch. Unfortunately I have not yet employed a cook, perhaps I might even do that one day.

This afternoon I have nothing planned up to now. And now I am off, so have a good day everyone. It’s a bit short and sweet this morning.

 

FOWC with Fandango: Surreal

I have been blogging away daily  in WordPress for more than 10 years, so have a written a few thousand entries. This is an entry I once wrote for my feline Nera. She went to the eternal corn chambers a few years ago for her 10th life and is now helping to keep them mouse free under the instructions of Bastet. When she was still with me, she helped to write this entry. We both always had a hang to surrealism. Illustrations by me with Photoshop and text with a little help from Nera my big black long furred cat that insisted it was all fluff and nothing to do with being fat. This also features one of my favourite paintings “Son of Man” by René Margritte.

roschti and apple

“Nera, what do you think you are doing with my favourite painting by René Magritte, the famous Belgian artist.”

My chief feline seemed to be bored and decided to create something on her pawPad using  her new photo programme, Felineshop.

“I am helping you with your daily prompt. It said to bring your favourite painting to life, so I created my own with help from Roschti the ginger tom that lives next door. Roschti, stop licking the apple. We are finished with the painting, but the apple stays here.”

“She was too late, and Roschti disappeared pawing the apple in front of him, as if training for a soccer game.”

This all seemed to be very surrealistic and then there was a knock at the door. I opened the door and guess what, the guy in the WordPress t-shirt was not standing there for a change. I think it was his day off. No, this time it was a guy dressed in an overcoat, with white shirt and nice red tie. He had a bowler hat on his head and yes, there was an apple hanging in front of his face with stalk and leaves attached.

“Who are you” I asked, “another public relation stunt from WordPress?”

“No, I am the Son of Man”

The surrealism was increasing.

“The son of man, the original self-portrait from René Magritte. I was hanging around and heard that I might be needed so here I am: anything to eat? I am starving,  but please no green apples. I would rather have a plate of chips, you know I am actually a Belgian.”

“Ah, “les frites” I said, and I believe he laughed behind the apple. I continued. “I do not have any French fries, but a packet of potato chips, flavoured with paprika, if that will do.”

“Look Mrs. Human, it’s the man in your favourite painting.” Nera feline appeared and was staring with her large yellow eyes.

“Yes Nera, what a surprise, seems your imitation portrait worked a miracle. Now go and play with your pawPad, but no paintings, just follow the mouse or catch the bird, OK.”

“OK Mrs. Human, will do. Felineshop is not an easy programme” and with a swish of her long black furry tail she was gone.

In the meanwhile the man with the green apple was munching paprika chips although a little complicated. He had to slip them under the apple in front of his face to reach his mouth.

“Wouldn’t it be easier to remove the apple?” I asked.

“Yes it would, but it is part of me and cannot be removed. You would have to paint over it, and as I am here in real life, it would not be possible. I am only on loan here for a few minutes. I hang in a private collection.”

“Where?”

“Not even Google knows the answer to that question” he said.

“What about a photo?” I asked.

“Of course”

I was going to ask him to smile for the photo, but decided even if he smiled it would be hidden behind the apple. He asked for a glass of water which he drank through a straw between the apple and his face. He stood and I took my unforgettable photo.

“Goodbye Mrs. Angloswiss, it was nice to be welcomed into your home.” And he disappeared into the scenery of a sea coast which suddenly appeared on the horizon.

“Mrs. Human, Mrs. Human” I heard loud meows. I have framed my Felineshop creation, it is finished, wake up” It was Nera. “I think you drifted into a human sleep.”

I think it was a surrealistic sleep, after all paintings do not come to life, felines do not have a photoshop programme, or do they?

René Magritte, The Son of Man, 1964, Restored by Shimon D. Yanowitz, 2009 רנה מאגריט, בנו של אדם, 1964, רסטורציה ע

Son of Man by Réné Magritte

Nera on top of the wardrobe

And this is Nera

FOWC with Fandango: Surreal

RDP Friday: Transition

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He was perfect for the job.  The kids at the circus loved him. He would pick them up with no problem, although the parents were a little worried that he might drop them, but it never happened. When they erected the circus tent he was ideal for heaving the long poles into position. His mother was always worried since it happened.

The factory was the main work place for everyone in town. No-one really knew what they were producing, something to do with fertiliser for making plants bigger and better.  It was the place where the sunflowers were as tall as the houses. It was after the accident happened that Jeremy had problems. He was out in the garden when the cloud arrived. The only one in town, as the others were all watching the match on the TV, but he was never interested in football.

And the next day he was getting ready for school.

“Come on Jeremy you will be late”

“Got a problem mum. My trousers are too short. They look silly.”

“Stop making up stories Jeremy, just because it’s sports day and you don’t like playing games.”

“No mum I mean it.”

And that was the day when Jeremy began to grow. Actually it was only his legs, the rest remained the same.

Eventually he even had to leave the circus, he loved the job, but they were having problems with organising a caravan for him. They had joined two together, but even that was not long enough to accommodate his legs when he laid down to sleep at night.

But for everyone there is a solution. Jeremy always loved animals and now he is working in the zoo. He is responsible for the giraffes.

RDP Friday: Transition