Actually I did not really intend to write anything today, no inspiration. On the other hand, life is boring enough when you live alone with no-one to talk to. My No 1 son is at home, but autistists are not the most talkative people and Sunday he usually just remains at home, after returning home in the early morning hours after an evening in his favouring restaurant in town

So here I am dithering around on the computer. The photo shows my evening food, a healthy salad of various vegetables and the contents of a tin of sardines. Apparently sardines are healthy for my high blood pressure, so they say.

What did I do today? After cooking and serving lunch I had my usual 2 hour sleep after dinner. I had a pile of washing to iron, although it was done in an hour. I stayed at home, after the warning that we will be having ice on the streets. It is very cold at the moment and I have absolutely no intention of going anywhere. I have not seen Mr. Swiss for a complete week, but I do not really think he will miss me very much. He is not the most talkative person at the moment, just enjoys the fact that I appear now and again. At the age of 86, with various health problems and demense, I have come to the conclusion that he no longer needs my conversation, what he actually understands from it. I am now his partner that organises his business life, paying bills etc He has an expensive staff at his golden oldie home that do the rest for him. I sometimes have the feeeling I am somewhat superfluous in his life. He is still the self centered person that he always was, I, me and myself were always his life’s mottos and with the advancing year it is more emphasised

I have not been too well lately. My MS problems progress, and I have constant feelings of fatigue in my joints. Particularly during the night I get very restless, tossing and turning and generally uncomfortable. Whe I rise in the morning, after having something to eat and performing a few daily chores, I gradually am feeling a little better, although moving is still a problem, but I manage during the day. Sometims I must say this whole MS illness is most annoying and disturbing especially because it is progressive. When I think back to the good old days when I could move, go for walks and deal with daily chores without a problem. Now if I happen to drop something on the floor, I have to think about how to pick it up. I seem to have a blocked movement when bending. Luckily I have a so-called “grabber” an instrument for gripping fallen items, although it cannot grab everything, especially if they are flat with no edges to “grab” If No 1 son is here, he helps me to pick up the fallen items. Life is so tedious when you have to rely on help from others.

My main problem is that I have no others here. My neighbours help, but I do not knock at their doors and ask for help constantly.

Tomorrow is another day. It is Monday and I am again alone during the day as my son is at work and I have no intention of going anywhere in this cold unfrendly Winter weather. At least it it has stopped snowing.

Christmas is just around the corners, and I am absolutely not looking forward to it. It will be a long tedious holiday with more closed days than open and problems will arise with online delivery of shopping. Of course my other son helps where he can, but he is working, lives on the other side of Switzerland and has his own family to care for. He will be spending Christmas with his wife’s family in Germany.

And now I have bothered you enough with my misery, it can only get better.