FOWC with Fandango: Surreal

I have been blogging away daily  in WordPress for more than 10 years, so have a written a few thousand entries. This is an entry I once wrote for my feline Nera. She went to the eternal corn chambers a few years ago for her 10th life and is now helping to keep them mouse free under the instructions of Bastet. When she was still with me, she helped to write this entry. We both always had a hang to surrealism. Illustrations by me with Photoshop and text with a little help from Nera my big black long furred cat that insisted it was all fluff and nothing to do with being fat. This also features one of my favourite paintings “Son of Man” by René Margritte.

roschti and apple

“Nera, what do you think you are doing with my favourite painting by René Magritte, the famous Belgian artist.”

My chief feline seemed to be bored and decided to create something on her pawPad using  her new photo programme, Felineshop.

“I am helping you with your daily prompt. It said to bring your favourite painting to life, so I created my own with help from Roschti the ginger tom that lives next door. Roschti, stop licking the apple. We are finished with the painting, but the apple stays here.”

“She was too late, and Roschti disappeared pawing the apple in front of him, as if training for a soccer game.”

This all seemed to be very surrealistic and then there was a knock at the door. I opened the door and guess what, the guy in the WordPress t-shirt was not standing there for a change. I think it was his day off. No, this time it was a guy dressed in an overcoat, with white shirt and nice red tie. He had a bowler hat on his head and yes, there was an apple hanging in front of his face with stalk and leaves attached.

“Who are you” I asked, “another public relation stunt from WordPress?”

“No, I am the Son of Man”

The surrealism was increasing.

“The son of man, the original self-portrait from René Magritte. I was hanging around and heard that I might be needed so here I am: anything to eat? I am starving,  but please no green apples. I would rather have a plate of chips, you know I am actually a Belgian.”

“Ah, “les frites” I said, and I believe he laughed behind the apple. I continued. “I do not have any French fries, but a packet of potato chips, flavoured with paprika, if that will do.”

“Look Mrs. Human, it’s the man in your favourite painting.” Nera feline appeared and was staring with her large yellow eyes.

“Yes Nera, what a surprise, seems your imitation portrait worked a miracle. Now go and play with your pawPad, but no paintings, just follow the mouse or catch the bird, OK.”

“OK Mrs. Human, will do. Felineshop is not an easy programme” and with a swish of her long black furry tail she was gone.

In the meanwhile the man with the green apple was munching paprika chips although a little complicated. He had to slip them under the apple in front of his face to reach his mouth.

“Wouldn’t it be easier to remove the apple?” I asked.

“Yes it would, but it is part of me and cannot be removed. You would have to paint over it, and as I am here in real life, it would not be possible. I am only on loan here for a few minutes. I hang in a private collection.”

“Where?”

“Not even Google knows the answer to that question” he said.

“What about a photo?” I asked.

“Of course”

I was going to ask him to smile for the photo, but decided even if he smiled it would be hidden behind the apple. He asked for a glass of water which he drank through a straw between the apple and his face. He stood and I took my unforgettable photo.

“Goodbye Mrs. Angloswiss, it was nice to be welcomed into your home.” And he disappeared into the scenery of a sea coast which suddenly appeared on the horizon.

“Mrs. Human, Mrs. Human” I heard loud meows. I have framed my Felineshop creation, it is finished, wake up” It was Nera. “I think you drifted into a human sleep.”

I think it was a surrealistic sleep, after all paintings do not come to life, felines do not have a photoshop programme, or do they?

René Magritte, The Son of Man, 1964, Restored by Shimon D. Yanowitz, 2009 רנה מאגריט, בנו של אדם, 1964, רסטורציה ע

Son of Man by Réné Magritte

Nera on top of the wardrobe

And this is Nera

FOWC with Fandango: Surreal

Daily Prompt: Since we have computers

Eiger, Mönch and Jugfrau - Ferdinand Hodler

I am not an expert in paintings. Whether this is strictly surreal or not I do not know, but Ferdinand Hodler, the Swiss painter, managed a good job on painting the Eiger, Mönch and Jungfrau mountains. We have a few original Hodlers hanging in our local museum, unfortunately not on our walls.

Today everything is a little surreal, although daily life has become so surreal that we just take it for granted. A week ago Mr. Swiss celebrated his birthday. It was a quiet affair, we did not publish it in the newspaper or send out invitations. When you celebrate so many birthdays as we have, it is just something that happens every year.

Even a day before the great day he received his first voucher for 50 Swiss francs from a clothing business. Any purchases would be 50 Swiss francs cheaper, but of course only if he spent at least four times as much on his purchases. Wonderful, a birthday gift from a company that you did not know existed, but they knew it was your birthday. Strange, almost surreal. If you do not use your voucher then you miss a chance of buying with a reduction. If you buy nothing, you have spent no money and have made a profit of 50 Swiss Francs.

And then the next voucher arrived for the computer of his choise, or a camera, or anything eletronic, again stating the amount you must spend to be able to trade in the voucher. How do these companies know he was celebrating his birthday? Had they marked the date on their internatl calendars that Mr. Swiss would be happy to receive a birthday gift?

These gift vouchers were limited in validity, only a month. So how did they know he was celeratin his birthday? It was all registered in their computer. Even my personal computer at home sends a reminder that great aunt Mabel (fictitious of coure, I have no great aunts). will be celebrating her special day,  And so all over the world, any company where Mr. Swiss has purchased online, has noted his birthday. He did not tell them, but it seems there is a trade in the world on personal information. Companies actually pay for private information. The first details you supply are name and address and date of birth. Have you ever paid by credit card on line? Of course, and this is the first step to your birthday gift.

There seems to be a cyberplace where details are sold to companies wanting to honour your birthday. How lovely, real good friendship and consideration. Of course if you take advantage of their offer, you invest perhaps more money than is being offered. That is not so important, it is the thought that counts.

Needless to say Mr. Swiss refrained from accepting birthday gifts where he invests money to receive them. I am now looking forward to my birthday on 6th December (do not forget). Perhaps Apple will send me a voucher for my new iPhone X, that would be great.

Daily Prompt: Since we have computers

Daily Feline Prompt: Whoa!

What’s the most surreal experience you’ve ever had?

Impressions of September monthly market in Solothurn

“MEOW help, they are coming to get me” and Nera fell from her pole position on the cat play center. Tabby her litter sister rushed to see what had happened and Fluffy turned his head in her direction when she landed on the floor with a thump.

“Nera what is the matter. I told you not to eat too much tuna. Now you have the result. You have lost your balance because of your weight problems. Give yourself a lick and you will feel better.” said Tabby.

“I did not fall from my pole position on the cat gymnastic centre because of my weight problems which I do not have, I had a bad dream. Hundreds of glowing felines with staring eyes were after me. They wanted to dissolve me with their green and organge liquids.”

“Cool down Nera, I dream all the time, although I have never had glowing felines in my dream, but now and again a glowing mouse that always seems to escape just as I had my claws ready to pounce.” Fluffy was trying to help, but Nera was not interested.

“Fluffy, this is serious and no Tabby, a lick will not help and if you are insinuating that I am overweight, it is just fluff. I can still hear the growls and the bubbling of their poison. Green and orange, just terrible. I am sure I will not be able to close my eyes again for a long while.”

“Nera perhaps you ate something that didn’t agree with you. I told you that eating tuna after fresh mouse is not good for you. That mouse looked a bit dodgy as well. Probably gave himself up. Seems to me you are a bit slow on your legs these days.” said Tabby.

“Tabby that mouse was very tasty, are you jealous that it was my paws that caught him? I am not slowing down, I just do not like to rush around, it spoils the rhythm of my wonderful feline movements.”

“I dream all the time Nera, but only of nice things like mouse holes, birds sitting within paw distance and lots of wonderful juicy butterflies flying around my nose. Then I really sink into a Nirvana sleep.” Fluffy was trying to reassure Nera.

“Fluffy, you astound me. You mean a sleep like the imperturbable stillness of mind after the fires of desire, aversion, and delusion have been finally extinguished.” said Tabby.

“Yes exactly Tabby, you have brought it to a point.”

“Excuse me Tabby and Fluffy, but I do not want to interrupt your mystic conversation, which seems to be drifting onto a higher level of my understanding, but I was woken up by something surreal, a progression of Dada, it was a horror dream, a catmare – get it?”

“Nera, we know the solution. Fix your eyes on your photo of Garfield, signed by his pawprint. Make two circles with your wonderful streamline body, close your eyes and sink into oblivion, thinking only of your hero, Garfield. He will rid you of all negative surrealistic thoughts.”

And so Nera sunk once more into a sleep. Her monsters had disappeared and she was soothed into sleep by the visions of her dream cat, Garfield. She decided it might have been the food, although it could also have been the film she watched on the television, Cat People. It disturbed her to think that humans could change into cats.

Daily Prompt: Whoa!

Photo: my own with some changes made in a photo programme