Daily Prompt: Full Disclosure or The Mad Scientist with the T-shirt strikes again

A mad scientist friend offers you a chip that would allow you to know what the people you’re talking to are thinking. The catch: you can’t turn it off. Do you accept the chip?

Tool School

So this guy wearing a WordPress t-shirt with the words “Mad Scientist” on the front turns up and says “I am your friend. Sit inside this machine, keep still and I will plant this chip inside your brain, as long as you have one. You will immediately know what everyone is thinking when they talk to you.”

I told him “I have never seen you before and you are not my friend, Forget it, or are you a t-shirt salesman?”. He was very sad and began to cry. I patted him on his mad scientist hair which was white and standing up all over his head, and told him not to worry, he chose the wrong chip victim.

How was he to know that I know what people are thinking before they know it themselves? My main conversationalist is Mr. Swiss. I have been married for 46 years and so I am well aware of what he is thinking before he knows it himself. I am always one step ahead. The mad scientist left but not before I warned him not to plant such a chip in a man’s brain. I had fears of Mr. Swiss knowing what I was thinking and my strategic married warfare would be destroyed. On the other hand if he received such a chip, he would be confused, as I am mostly confused myself even without a chip.

Of course the sales lady at the supermarket is always astonished when my trolley is full of the latest special offers. She recognises my gift of knowing everything before she knows it. Little does she know that I now have a chip planted in my iPad/iPhone known as App where all the latest special offers can be seen. When I am driving the car, others go out of my way. “Here she comes, the lady without the chip, let her pass. She has problems with speed and directions. The mad scientist told us she is chipless and always drives her way.”

The mad scientist returned and said he forgot to tell me that if I had this chip, it would be forever and I would never be able to switch it off. Before I kicked him out of the door I told him that he would be better employed bringing WordPress t-shirts.

The mad scientist was gone, I was now on my own with Mr. Swiss and I brought him a cup of coffee. “Just what I wanted” he said. Of course he did, I sensed it in my chipless brain. I then ironed some t-shirts with Mr. Swiss written on the back. “Do you know where my special t-shirts are?” Mr. Swiss asked. “I just ironed them, they are on the table ready to be put away”. Mr. Swiss was happy he had everything he wanted. Who needs a chip?

My tabby feline entered the kitchen, and immediately went to her dish which I had just filled with super vitamin cat pellets. She looked at me and began to munch. Felines do no say” thankyou for the food”, the word “thankyou” does not exist in meow, but her whiskers were twitching as she left for her favourite sleeping place. Even felines do not need a chip, they control our movements without a chip.

The last I saw of the mad scientist, he was knocking at the prime minister’s door. Now this could be a dangerous situation. There was an explosion. I knew it, the prime miniter was having the chip fitted, but I was wrong. The machine to fit the chip exploded, as it could not find the brain to plant the chip in.

Daily Prompt: Full disclosure or The Mad Scientist with the t-shirt strikes again

Daily Prompt: I can’t Stay Mad At You, but there are always Exception to the Rule

Do you hold grudges or do you believe in forgive and forget?

The Migros cat

We have a guard cat at the local supermarket. She (must be a she, she is resolute and always ready for action) ensures that no suspicious people enter the store and is always there. She keeps a watchful eye on the restaurant to ensure a comfortable seat near the customers, holds no grudges, and always forgives and forgets, is just persistently waiting for her reward of crumbs or perhaps a bite of a ham sandwich. No flies on her and she cannot afford to hold grudges, otherwise the food supply might stop. No-one feeds an ungrateful feline.

I do not do mad, have no time. If it might happen that I am annoyed for some strange reason, then I do not express my feelings. I remain quiet and say nothing: just ignore the reasons for being mad. I am not an elephant, so after a few minutes I have already forgotten why I was annoyed. In this case I do not have to forgive, because I cannot remember why it all happened in the first place.

Nobody is perfect; even I might possibly have a few faults due to a misunderstanding or my words being falsely interpreted, although this is few and far between. I am convinced that I am always right and give no cause for people to be annoyed with me.

Of course there is the case of the lady living opposite with her immaculate snake pit similar garden, composed of various hollow bricks filled with various herbs. I also have a herb garden, all good perfect cooks have a herb garden. Unfortunately it might be that my felines mistake the neighbour’s garden for the place for their recycling process, although they are perfect well-educated felines. They find the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence unfortunately.

One fine day my wonderful, perfect neighbour planted her garden anew, it was Spring. No problem, it looked good and my felines found it perfect for the recycling process. Unfortunately the neighbour in question was a little annoyed. She was patient, installed a cat warning system, sending high-pitched tones into the neighbourhood. She put up a police similar barrier of wide yellow tape (felines are colour blind) and all this went unnoticed. My felines did not report back to me to tell me of this infringement on their territorial rights, but they are just felines and ignored it. One day there was a card in my personal letter box. It was a neutral white card with words written on it in plain felt pen (blue). I was informed that my cats were digging in places they should not dig. The new herb garden was in danger. I told my cats to avoid digging in places that might cause problems. They ignored me, although my big black long furred monster feline, Nera, did inform that the word “problem” does not exist in meow.

I decided to ignore this card in my letter box, although it was signed with the neighbour’s name. I noticed afterwards that the tones coming from the anti-cat siren system were louder than usual.  This all happened a few weeks ago, the herb garden is now growing, the rosemary is flowering and also some undefined plants with yellow flowers have appeared. I was going to suggest to the neighbour planting cannabis to calm the nerves, but decided against it. Mr. Swiss finds not everyone understands my twisted sense of humour, even he does not understand it now and again.

So everything calmed down. The neighbour is still not talking to me, but we never did have lively intelligent discussions about God and the World, or the price of vegetables in the super market, so who cares. At the moment Spring has sprung and the trees between her territory and mine have flowered and are spreading their branches, so we will not see each other until autumn and my felines have more interesting pastimes than to dig around in her snake pit.

They are making a survey of the increase in mouse population, and left me a message to plant some cat mint in my garden. I told them this does not work, although I do not grudge my cats their cat mint ration, I do grudge supplying the feline population in the area with cat mint and it will not work. My last attempts to establish a bed of cat mint failed miserably. After two days it was trampled flat into the earth, caused by rolling cats getting high on the stuff.

Another blog comes to and end and I can remove the notice on my door, “Silence: Beware Blogging in Progress” as it could be that I get mad and ignore everyone if I am disturbed.

Daily Prompt: I Can’t Get Mad At You, but there are always exceptions to the rule

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