“How does this look.”
“Perfect, just carry on.”
“You are not looking.”
“Just chop it off, I am sure it is perfect.”
“How can you know it’s perfect when you are not looking.”
“Because you have been chopping trees for the past five years and no-one ever complained.”
“Perhaps no-one looks at the trees when I have cut them.”
“That is because its is nothing new. They all look the same. Just chop off what you have to chop of and trim it down a bit.”
“Do you think I should shape it up more on the right side.”
“As long as the left side is in proportion.”
“I am not so sure, just take a look.”
“Sorry, I have other things to look at.”
“Such as?”
I have to study the proportions of the trees on the other side of the road to make sure they match the height and width of the trees on this side of the road.”
“But how can you do that if your only look on the other side of the road.”
“It is all a matter of experience.”
“Then take a look at the trees I have cut and tell me that they are OK.”
“If you insist. Oh.”
“What Oh?”
“You should have left those brances at a 180° angle and now they are 90°.”
“I thought you wanted them to be like that.”
“Not really my problem. The trees on the other side of the road point in a different direction.”
“Of course they do, beause they have to be symmetrical to the trees on my side of the road. Where are you going?”
“I am going to get something warm to drink at the restaurant on the corner. It’s all right for you up in a tree with all the action. I am freezing down here, standing around and waiting for you to cut the tree.”
“Perhaps you could come up the ladder and help me.”
“Sorry not possible. I told the boss I suffer from vertigo and cannot climb ladders. I get giddy.”
“And what about my tree.”
“Just chop away, I am sure it will be perfect when you are finished.”
“Oh dear. Now the branch has fallen on his head and he is unconscious. That’s his fault. He should have been watching me instead of looking at the trees on the other side of the road.”
Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss 