You are the first astronaut to arrive on a new, uncharted planet. Write the note that you leave to those who come after you.
Photographers, artists, poets: show us CARTE BLANCHE.
Well it is something completely different, but there are advantages. The air is just like ours on Earth, if there is any air left on Earth. I have been gone so long and my radar tells me there is an empty space where the planet Earth was, something like a black hole. No problem, there is enough room here.
You can drink the water and there is even food, for vegetarians.
“Tell them about us, tell them about us”
“OK, but at your own risk.”
Yes I have found a colony of Woggles here on this planet. They call themselves Woggles, because they well woggle. Don’t worry that they have three eyes and four arms, they are quite peaceful. They confirmed that planet Earth no longer exists, so they decided to keep me for their archives. I was thinking if earth no longer exists then there is not much point writing this note as there will be no-one to read it. On the other hand, you never know, perhaps there is a second space craft on its way with the remainders of the population.
“What did you say Woggle, no chance. If humans do something they always make sure that it is perfect and the black hole they left behind is so round and deep, it could not be better.”
I will continue all the same. Clothing has become superfluous; the Woggles do not have a word for clothing. I discovered that I now have a third eye in the middle of my forehead, just like the Woggles and it seems that there are two arms growing below those that I already have. The Woggles now call me chief Woggle as I am much bigger than they are.
Indeed they have accepted me as one of their own, and said if I continue to drink the water I will become one of them.
We even have television. Electric storms are quite common here, and the Woggles just catch the lightening and use it. I used to be able to watch Fox news from earth when it existed but only when the Woggle children were sleeping.. Galactic News is quite good, it seems that the Daleks have made peace with the Klingons and now live in harmony together. Being now a Woggle I am entitled to one holiday per year and will be teleported to planet Dalek this year. It seems even the doctor now lives there. He was lucky to escape in the Tardis before the big implosion happened. The Daleks love him and were sorry that his television adventures finished, as they were using the money they earned to build their own Tardis. My holiday trip includes a visit to Disneyland Dalekland when I am there. The doctor is in charge.
I must now go, Mrs. Woggle is waiting for me. It is nearly dinner time and we have griddles for dinner. I just love them, they taste so fresh and alive. They move in your mouth to the last bite. She cooks them in Klingon wine, imported from their planet. Yes, I am married and we are expecting our first Woggles next week, they arrive in pairs. Life is good on planet Woggle, who cares if the world has disappeared. If any ex inhabitants from Earth do ever arrive here then take my advice, become a Woggle, It simplifies life, although probably you will not have a choice. The Woggles say that is the best solution to avoid wars. Integration by drinking Woggle water. The metamorphosis to a Woggle takes place slowly, you feel no pain and you become one of them.
“Yes Mrs. Woggle I am coming, just writing a note for those that come after me. You say no-one is coming from Earth I am the last. Oh yes, I forgot.”
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