RDP Sunday: Debillitating

Today I have one of my depressed moods and everything is debillitating. Mr. Swiss is not longer the Mr.Swiss I knew, but a functioning biological creature that is dependent on my help for the best part of the the day and the night. He has mental probIems and I am deprived of my normal sleep, my life is a cleaning episode and I am glad to be able to snatch an hour in the evening for myself. Sorry to be so negative, but after a month of these problems I now have problems which I hope to solve

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RDP Sunday: Debillitating

16 thoughts on “RDP Sunday: Debillitating

  1. We’re here for you, even if only pixels on your computer screen. I hope the meeting this week about steps going forward is productive and brings a hint of light at the end of the tunnel for you. I’m wondering – is there any possibility that Mr. Swiss is over-medicated? Some drugs given to seniors are too strong and produce side effects, sometimes simply reducing the dosage can lighten up a patient’s depressed emotional “affect” and improve physical coordination and strength? That is, of course, between you and his doctors. Take care and get some rest when you can, even just a nap when he naps.

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  2. I am a great believer in resident care facilities. I didn’t understand their importance when I was a teenager, but when my dad went to live in one, I saw the result was that a burden had been lifted from my mom, though I wouldn’t say she understood that. With my own mom there was no alternative I was prepared even to consider. And my Aunt Martha? I didn’t want that. I was prepared to help her find a condo of her own, but her sisters were wiser than I and could see far more clearly where my Aunt Martha was heading. It made it possible for us to enjoy her company without the grim and grueling responsibility of caring for her.

    Professionals are not personally invested in the same way family is. They are also trained in ways we’re not. It’s not a choice anyone wants to make but one beautiful advantage is that our memories of the person we love are not darkened by the overwhelming sadness of this kind of care. I never loved anyone in my life as much as I loved my Aunt Martha and my dad. That my last hours with them were spent where I did not have to do for them what was not in my powers mattered very much then and now. I would have done anything for them, but I’m grateful that did not turn out to be my job.

    And, I think, for them as well. I had to ask myself over the years “Who would my dad want me to be, this person picking him up off the bathroom floor?” which I did many many many times because he did not want to give up and I wanted to help him fight. And my aunt? Well, I’ll just leave this here.

    My heart goes out to you, Pat. ❤

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      • Good. There is no reason to attempt to endure it. It’s truly the job and calling of other people to insure the safety and comfort of Mr. Swiss at this point so you can continue to live peacefully and love him.

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  3. These must be sad and difficult times for you and I hope that the problems can be solved soon. The hardest part of course is knowing that Mr Swiss is not as he used to be. I’m thinking of you.

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  4. I am so sorry to hear of your situation which you have managed to keep quiet for so long. You are welcome to voice your feelings on your blog, a great outlet for such things, and you know we are all here to listen. I had something similar when my husband lost the use of his legs – and body really – due to spinal stenosis and he could never accept it. We survived it, but it was tough on us both, perhaps in a way tougher on me, as it is a lonely world trying to be everything to someone.

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