RDP Thursday: Scratch

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“Dracky, just look at our table leg. I will have to have it repaired. Every year the same problem. The nearer we get to Halloween, our furniture suffers.”

“But Morticia, every self-respecting vampire must have sharp fingernails for a good scratch at that time of the year. All the boys are busy bringing their fingernails up to scratch (ha, ha, ha – a pun) for the big night.”

“I don’t find it very funny Dracky, our furniture looks terrible. Even the hounds respect our private possessions, and they do not have nails, but talons. They do the necessary outside in the forest. The trees can renew their barks, but not my table legs.”

“What do you expect, that I go out in the forest to do the necessary. Do not forget,  we vampires only venture outside our coffins when night falls. I could catch a cold and it could  be the death of me in those nocturnal freezing temperatures.”

“Dracky, you are already dead and vampires do not freeze. In future you will not sharpen your nails on our furniture. It is bad enough when you have a daymare in the coffin, there are scratch marks all over the lid.”

“You really are hard and have no sympathy. What would you do Morticia when you dream that you are being prodded with needles and pins: the stake death in miniature?”

“No Dracky you will get no sympathy from me, and you cannot die twice.  Now go out with the hounds for a walk to get some fresh air. It won’t even kill you, and you can all sharpen your nails and talons together. And put your boots on, you look ridiculous walking around in your slippers in the form of the head of a poodle.”

“But they are so warm and comfortable.”

“Dracky you do not even know what warmth is.”

RDP Thursday: Scratch

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