In Spring it seems nature has a yellow glow everywhere from the Forysthia flowers on its bushes.
In Spring it seems nature has a yellow glow everywhere from the Forysthia flowers on its bushes.
The gnomes of Zürich: I actually wrote this when Bill Clinton was president and now rewrote it a little. But gold reserves remain gold reserves, no matter who is president.
Scene: Gnomes with long white beards and green pointed hats dressed in various colours according to their nationalities, sitting at a round table. At the head of the table a gnome standing, whose beard reaches to the ground and has long grey hair. He wears a large badge – Chief Gnome, Zürich. The room is decorated with framed bank notes hanging on the wall.
Chief gnome: I decided it was time to call an international conference. I have not been hearing such good things about our agents in other countries, especially from our American branch. The reserves seem to be falling. Al – speak up.
One of the gnomes at the table stands up. He is wearing a waistcoat with white stars on a blue background and red and white striped trousers. His green pointed hat has a dollar bill in the hat band and his carrot coloured hair is poking through.
Al: Yes sir, Chief Gnome. We are doing our best.
Chief Gnome: Doing our best does not mean tipping off citizens of your country how to avoid paying taxes especially if they happen to be millionaires. Admittedly we have been doing that in Zürich for many years, but it belongs to our tradition. Everyone knows and as long as it is only the Swiss, it bothers no-one. Our origins are in Switzerland and here we are citizens. Al Gnome, you are our agent and have caused a lot of trouble. Our reputation is not showing from its best side at the moment.
Al: But Chief Gnome, I was just keeping up the tradition.
Chief Gnome: Is it clear that the country where you are working now has a new president? Our tradition does not interest him. Just do not forget that you are only in America as our representative on a green card and the new president is something completely different. He only knows green as the colour of a gold course lawn. The other president was a little colour blind, but this new one knows that green is not only a tree, but has another meaning. Our spies have reported that your green card is in danger.
At this point there were many shouts around the table and fingers pointing at Al. Some gnomes were seen to be quivering in fright.
Chief Gnome: Order please, gnomes. Does anyone have anything to say?
A gnome stands up dressed in a black shirt with red belt and dark yellow trousers.
Chief Gnome: I give the word to our German gnome
German Gnome: On behalf of the German branch of the gnomes of Germany I would express our great disappointment on the actions of our colleague in America. We have also heard the reports from America and the German politicians are not happy. They have discovered that certain gnomes have been helping some of the wealthier members of the population to become even richer. Many of our gnome brothers are secretly leaving Germany in safe boxes going to Switzerland. They are claiming financial asylum and numbered bank accounts in Switzerland. This situation can no longer continue.
Another gnome claims the word, dressed in a shirt with red white and blue horizontal stripes – the French gnome
French gnome: Oui, I am in agreement with our brothers in Germany. What they say we say as well.
German gnome: thank you brother
Chief gnome: Since we have existed the French gnome has always agreed with the German gnome. This does not solve the problems of the Swiss gnomes. Al you must do something about the situation. Perhaps release a few names of the people hiding their accounts from the new president of America. Send him a letter with a list of three hundred names, this might keep him happy.
Al: Sir, chief, this has already been done. The new president is not happy. He wants more. He also has problems reading the small print.
Chef Gnome: When is the next election in America?
Al: in a few years sir
Chief Gnome: Where is the last president? He was a good man. We still have his money in a numbered account somewhere I think.
A gnome stands up wearing a t-shirt with a Swiss cross on it
Swiss gnome: Yes sir. We do, the problem is that the last American president forgot to memorise the numbers and he could only count up to ten. It is becoming an American tradition it seems. It looks like the money will stay in our wonderful but small country for ever.
Chief Gnome: I miss a few words from the British gnome. Is he here?
Swiss gnome: He sent a letter to excuse himself. He is busy trying to sell a Swiss bank account to the English Prime Minister. The last news I heard is that the British gnome has been melted down and gold reserves have been made from his body to stabilise the British pound.
Chief Gnome: I have made my decision. Gnomes go back to your countries and hide in a safe place in the vaults of the national banks. Make sure you have enough currency to survive whilst you are there. It may be a long wait but I am sure in two years things will be forgotten and you can appear again.
Al: Just one thing Chief Gnome. There is one Swiss bank in America that is not so popular at the moment. I would advise not hiding in those vaults, they might collapse.
Chief gnome: Thank you Al
As the gnomes leave the room they are seen kneeling in front of a photo of John D. Rockefeller which is hanging on the wall, next to a photo of Donald Trump where someone had coloured his hair green.
On Friday I bought six bottles of Pepsi Cola in the supermarket. They are packed in plastic but we prefer pepsi to coca, and so we are probably in the minority. When I arrive home I have quite a lot of shopping to take from the basement garage to our apartment on the ground floor. We have a lift and I usually manage to pile it all onto my walker. I usually park the six bottles of cola (or perhaps it might be mineral water) still packed in the plastic next to the car and my No. 1 son afterwards fetches for me when he is home in the evening.
This time I forgot to tell him and so they were still in the garage over the week-end. On Sunday I needed the car and saw that the bottles were still there. However, only three instead of six. I managed to take the three bottles to my apartment and naturally asked my family if they knew where the other three were. Of course no-one knew, so I actually forgot the whole thing, although it seemed strange to me.
Today I went shopping and when I left the garage I saw this bottle, half filled with Pepsi standing on the wall outside the garage. When I came home it was still there. I decided to take a photo of it and as I entered the garage I met my neighbour. She told me that she had put the bottle outside the garage. Apparently someone had put it on her trolley that she has parked next to her car, and had also made a mess by emptying most of it on the garage floor
Here are the stains to prove the case. Now the question is who ripped open the plastic cover to my 6 bottles of Pepsi and removed three of them and why did this person empty half of the bottle in the garage. Our garage is generally locked although cars enter and leave during the day. It is now being fervently searched for the guilty party. Yes, we seem to have a Pepsi criminal case in our house. Nothing is safe from theft today, no even pepsi cola.
And the beginning too a new week. Time goes far too quickly for my taste. It is becoming an eternal time for week-end shopping, where are the days in between?. At least I have a wonderful view over the Jura mountains from my back yard this morning. If only that house was not in the way, but my neighbour would not be very happy about that I suppose.
So what shall we do with today? A little bit of cleaning (not very much, just wipe all the doors over to keep them fresh) and a visit to the store this afternoon. I have more than half a list and I noticed Mr. Swiss was busy on checking on his medicine, so it looks like a visit to the chemists will also be necessary. I also have to replenish my diabetes tablets, although no rush, I have enough for this week.
I took my usual morning walk in the garden and discovered that my buddleia has awakened to new life. I dead headed it a week ago as it was full of brown dry flower heads. Either it is again beginning to flower, or the flowers are now more noticeable since I removed the old ones. It is always a delightful view in the morning to see what has arrived during yesterday.
We had some miserable weather over the week-end. It was dreary and grey and now and again with a shower of rain. This meant a week-end at home, although I could keep myself busy with writing and other little jobs to do. I discovered by law I am obliged to insure my cleaning lady against accidents. She might fall from a ladder or be injured by a falling object. I had a form to fill out and realised that I had been breaking the law. After contacting my insurance company they did the necessary and even dated it since the beginning of this year, so now I am on the right side of the law again. Actually I found this was necessary, you never know what could happen at now I am covered for any accidents.
I am glad that I do not have any special appointments to keep for the next two months. Mr. Swiss is now seeing again so no more visits to the eye doctor for the next two months. I now have a free run on me time. In two weeks our local trade fair begins and I am looking forward to it.
The last time I wheeled past the construction work I saw that this building at the entrance was now half complete and being covered with a nicely blue covered design. Soon the secret will be out to see what it will become. The workmen were busy on their special lift fixing things.
It is funny how life changes. When Mr. Swiss and I were younger we rarely bothered with such local stuff and were glad to be able to relax at home. Mr.Swiss is still not so interested, but I grasp every opportunity to discover new events surrounding me. With a camera by my side, I love active participation.
My morning programme is already planned. I almost forgot to buy today’s lunch, but thanks to my no. 1 son the situation was saved. He brought me some sausages on Saturday and so it will be Swiss Kalbsbratwurst (calf sausage) with some cooked Vichy carrots, the ones I cut in fine pieces. At first I was going to make pasta with it, but I am not really the pasta type especially with sausages. I then realised I still have more than a kilo potatoes so I will probably be frying them with the sausages. Mr. Swiss will help with peeling them with a little friendly persuasion I am sure.
And now to some action. May the weeks’s beginning be a good one.
My rudbeckia lacianata are now beginning their flowering season. They are even taller than I am, so quite a highlight in the garden.
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