RDP #81: Tender


She invited the family for her birthday meal and chose to serve meat nice and lean
Invitations were sent to relations near and far, although not all were too keen
Morticia was not a very nice person, she was always on the scrounge
But her aunts and uncles accepted all the same, they wanted to have a lounge
The day of the feast soon arrived, and everyone was wearing their best gear
What would she serve was the question they asked, perhaps she might serve deer
Wonderful smells came from the kitchen, to tantalise appetites and fancies
Sitting around the table, the main course arrived, and the first to eat it was aunt Nancy.
She chewed on the meat and was pleasantly surprised to find it was juicy and tender
Uncle Charles followed and had two portions, he was always eating food on a bender
Cousins Cyril and Joan were eating with the others and soaked all their food in gravy
Cyril had to cough on a very small bone, Morticia told him it would make his hair wavy
Everyone laughed at this very strange joke because Cyril actually had no hair
He also laughed to join in the show, although he almost fell off the chair
But this was family and everyone belonged, they were making jokes with a laugh
The food was so good with an almond sauce, and Morticia assured the meat was calf
Suddenly auntie Nancy coughed, her food suddenly tasted bitter
Within an hour she had taken her last breath, she had now become a quitter
The others followed one after the other, choking on the food they had been given
Morticia gave a little laugh on the side, from her humour she was now driven
The doctor was called and then the mortician who happened to be a very good friend
It was clear that death was caused by choking which was why they all met a grave end
At the trial it was found that Morticia was innocent, she had mistaken arsen for salt
She was found not guilty and sent home free, it really wasn’t her fault
The moral of this story was very sweet, it was flavoured with genuine honey
Morticia is now a very rich girl, because she inherited all the money.

RDP #81: Tender

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