Daily Prompt: Mallet


“Good job we have a mallet”

“What did you need a mallet for?”

“I am roasting a chicken this evening, and it is nice an fresh from the farmer.”

“You mean it is still alive?”

“Well it was this morning.”

“You killed it.”

“It is not breathing or clucking or doing whatever chickens do when they are alive, so I assume it is now dead.”

“You used the mallet on the poor chicken.”

“I will do now.”

“But if it is dead you do not have to kill it again. And I am not sure that I want to eat a chicken that you killed.”

“You are convinced that I killed it.”

“Well you said you were glad we have a mallet.”

“The chicken salesmen said they are most tender if you beat them with a mallet.”

“You are beating a chicken to death?”

“No, it is already dead.”

“When did you kill it.”

“I did not kill it, it was already dead when I bought it in the store. It seems if you hammer the meat with a heavy object, a mallet is the best, the meat will  be even more tender. Just like when you hammer a steak.”

“Thank goodness, I prefer my chicken meals to be anonymous.”

“I do not think that the chicken would remember you if he met you when he was still laying eggs.”

“OK, then cook it, but stop making so much noise beating it, it is already dead, or?”

“Of course, I prefer my chickens already prepared before roasting. I just put the finishing touches to it.”

“With a mallet?”

“Yes, the newest method of cooking them.”

Daily Prompt: Mallet

5 thoughts on “Daily Prompt: Mallet

  1. If I was going to beat something to death, it probably wouldn’t be a chicken. I have a big metal mallet that is supposed to tenderize beef and chicken, but as far as I can tell it mostly just flattens it. What am I missing?

    Liked by 1 person

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