Daily Prompt: A matter of opinion

Die dicke Berta, Solothurn

“You dragged me across town to see that.”

“Yes, isn’t she great?”

“She isn’t exactly winsome. I had to drive an hour to see the new creation that everyone is talking about, got stuck in a traffic jam and spent another half an hour to find a parking space to see a fat blue lady.”

“She is not fat, she is a work of art and blue is her mark of individuality. Β It is one of the best works of art this side of the river.”

“Yea, and that’s where they should have dumped her.”

“I thought you were an expert in curves.”

“They are not curves, but bulges in the wrong place.”

“Even men have bulges in the wrong place.”

“Are you insinuating that I am fat.”

“No, of course not, just a matter of interpretation, although your belt not longer goes round your waist but is a couple of centimeters below, because you no longer have waist.”

“No need to get cynical. Admittedly I have put on a couple of kilos, but that is because you feed me too much.”

“It’s my job, remember. I am a housewife, and cooking is part of the job. So is washing and ironing and cleaning. That is why I keep my figure. It’s called multi tasking. And you don’t have to take second helpings each time.”

“And I do nothing. I go to the office every day to earn the money to keep you looking good at the hairdressers and getting clothed in the latest fashions. That costs.”

“Sure it does, that’s why I only go to the hairdresser when the apprentice cuts my hair, it’s then half price: and the clothes are all from the chain store or bought in the sales. On the allowance I get from you I cannot afford anything more.”

“You think it’s easy earning the money and working out how we can manage.”

“Is that why you spend every Friday evening with the boys in the bar in town, to discuss the budget. Beer isn’t free you know and probably the reason for the missing waistline.”

“One of the only pleasures I have. So I’ve seen the wonderful masterpiece and now we can go home again. By the way you are putting on weight in the wrong places, be careful you don’t look like her.”

“At least I could be a model for an artist and earn enough money to buy something in a boutique.”

“Oh great.”

“What’s wrong now.”

“I got a parking ticket. See what you cultural excursion has now cost.”

“Not more than an evening out with the boys.”

Daily Prompt: A matter of opinion

23 thoughts on “Daily Prompt: A matter of opinion

  1. Big Blue Bertha is kinda like a Mutated Smurfette on Steroids! Or she could be the companion to Paul Bunyan who supposed walked around America with Babe the Big Blue Ox! LOL!! OMG! I’m getting carried away!! πŸ™‚ πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love how you turned a visit to an artwork into a domestic arguement. I have to say that I don’t find Big Blue Bertha attractive but maybe she would grow on me if I lived with her although I am not a fan of modern art really. I remember paying a dollar to see Jackson Pollock’s “Blue Poles” at the art gallery and after seeing it I wanted my dollar back.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Berta has been in and around our town for many years. I quite like artworks that break the monotony. I must say thanks to Mr. Swiss i have learned to appreciate art more. We have often visited art exhibitions in Switzerland. I was totally impressed with a Roy Lichtenstein exhibition we saw at the Guggenheim Museum in New York. I tend to go for the more strange paintings like Salvador Dali. Pollacks is also not my sort of thing.

      Liked by 1 person

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