“Me a pest? Never. We wouldn’t harm a fly, or even a human. We just buzz around minding our own business. Suddenly out of the blue you can feel it coming. Air rushes past your feelers, and swap! or even swat!, missed me again. I really don’t know what those humans have. How would they like to be caught mid flight and splattered flat. It happened to Dippy, one of my 500 brothers last week. There he was spending a few happy hours with a lady fly from grave yard shift, the big shapely ones. I suppose he likes them fat and well fed. Anyhow they were just sitting around doing what we flies do, propagating the species and all that and it happened. I suppose it is a nice way to go when you are together, but it was his own fault.
You don’t spread the race in human places. I prefer a nice quiet corner, somewhere in a field where there are cows. They are great places for development of the species. Ok, there is more to life. There I was minding my own business on the ceiling and the human appeared. It was a nice hot smelly day, the air full of scents of decay and suddenly there was paradise on a piece of bread. Not only butter, but jam. Now we flies are partial to an absorption of the sweet kind. Just a quick look, human was nowhere to be seen and so I pounced. Oh, that was paradise on bread. Heaven on bread, made for a fly. Human returns and an end to the feast, but I enjoyed it while it lasted.
A fly’s life is a short one, especially if your are not on your toes. Now there is a delicate piece of stuff down there. Must take a closer look. A human sleeping, but one to be avoided. She is cuddling a fly swatter and that is not a good omen. It means she doesn’t like me. Ha, missed me, and she is still swatting around. I suppose it’s my own fault, I am a succour for punishment, shouldn’t buzz so much, but no buzz without wings.
Must go, I can see a banana below. And never forget, whre there are humans, there is always food.