Daily Prompt: Cringing Time

earwigs

“Yuck”

“What’s the problem?”

“There’s an earwig crawling around the sink in the kitchen.”

“Don’t worry, he or she won’t eat you.”

“Of course not. I am serious. I tried to kill it but it is too fast.”

“Why kill it. The poor thing is confused and just wants to hide.”

“Then it should hide where it belongs.”

“Give me a piece of paper.”

“What for?”

“So that I can transport it back to the garden where it belongs.”

“It does not belong anywhere except for the earwig happy hunting grounds. Look it is now doing a round trip of the sink. If you put it in the garden it will begin to devour the leaves on my plants.”

“I am sure it will not eat all of them. So where is it? Got it.”

“Where are you going with that earwig on that piece of paper?”

“I was putting it where it belongs, and now it has fallen off the paper thanks to you waving your arms around in panic.”

“I am not in panic I do not like earwigs in the kitchen.”

“That is why I am putting it outside.”

“But not like that.”

“Like what. I do not have an earwig cage so have to now transport it on my hand as I dropped the paper to transport it.”

“That is disgusting.”

“Don’t worry I will wash my hands afterwards. So there we go, now he is happy to be back in his normal habitat.”

“Oh, great, I am sure you will get a medal as the rescuer of the earwig race.”

“What are you doing with that flower pot.”

“I read that if I fill it with straw and hang it upside down on a tree branch it attracts earwigs.”

“I thought you didn’t like them.”

“I don’t. You can remove the pot daily and set fire to the straw in the pots.”

“I didn’t know I was married to a serial killer.”

“I am not a serial killer, just keeping the balance of nature in my garden. I do not operate a transport system for earwigs on paper, or pick them up and stroke them saying “there, there little earwig, now you are safe. Back to your normal home where the girlfriend is waiting for you to ensure that life will go on as normal. You can now both care for your offspring together”.”

“You don’t have to overdo it, but it is more humane than inviting them to set up house in a flower pot and afterwards letting them die in an incendry.”

“That is my method. And now to the next rescue mission.”

“What rescue mission.”

“There is a stink bug crawling on the chair.”

“Arrgh, I don’t touch stink bugs.”

“Why not it is only a poor defenceless little insect needing to be saved from a fate worse than death.”

“But they stink.”

“Not my problem, get rid of it.”

Green Shield-Stink Bug

Daily Prompt: Cringing Time

4 thoughts on “Daily Prompt: Cringing Time

  1. I don’t ask. I crush and demolish. We are insect haven around here and I have had ENOUGH. Garry is also not a big fan of things that crawl and get apoplectic about cockroaches. I love being in the country, but I really totally loathe the massive insect invasion that come with it. Yuck, phooey, icky. Something particularly nasty crawled up out of my drain this morning. I crushed it and washed it away. I don’t even KNOW what it was, but I wan’t inviting it in for tea.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Here the cockroaches are mainly in the old town houses. We lived in one for 20 Years. I think they lived between the foor boards. Luckily they only appeared in summer and only one or two but that was enough for me. They were two big to crunch to death. Out in the country we live in more open country with fields and meadows and the insects seem to sort out the survivors amongst themselves with help from the birds. We get spiders, but not too many and nothing lethal. As long as they stay in their webs and have a fly parcel to eat now and gain they do not bother me. Of course kind hearted Mr. Swiss often helps them to find their way back to the great outdoors.

      Like

  2. Aaah, the wrath of a woman! (Just kidding, of course)….. I also tend to be (too) kind to the little buggers but I def wouldn’t accommodate any cockroaches!!! Gotta draw the line somewhere! Thanks for the smile

    Liked by 1 person

    • Luckily no cockroaches out in the country. They seem to be town insects. The only insects I kill intentionally are flies, which are born to be killed. I used to tread on an earwig now and again but according to Mr. Swiss they are now an endangered species 🙂

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s