Daily Prompt: Of course I am nervous

Ducks 07.03 (9)

Nervous? Of course I am nervous. Life has become one big nervous battle since my MS progresses, slowly thanks to the medication, but surely.

Taling a photo like this is no longer the simple operation it used to be, but no, no-one is taking away my hobbies, and things I can still enjoy. To take a photo like this I must have a zoom lens attached to the camera, making it a little longer and heavier, but I can still do it. I can easily carry the camera around my shoulder. It is all a matter of how I suppose. I used to take the camera in my hand, point, adjust and shoot. Those days are now gone, but I can still do it. I cannot carry a bag, or rucksack, it would be too uncomfortable, so I have to devise a different way of doing things. I have my mobile phone in my pocket do not need anything more for a walk in the surroundings.

Luckily the places where I take most of my photographs are near. If I go further, then with the car, so I can leave various necessary bags in the car contining a purse, driving licence, and whatever. You will see me walking with a cane in the right hand, a nice colourful cane. If you have to have one, then make it a good one, something completely different.

And I arrive at my destination. Now the problems begin to unfold. How to hold a camera and a walking stick? That depends on the lay of the land. The ducks are in a good place, but I have to stand far away enough otherwise the 300 lens will not focus. As luck would have it there is a hedge opposite the duck enclosure, so I can hang the cane on the hedge, lean on the hedge, take the camera in my hand ,relax and shoot. Yes it is all a matter of organisation.

The problem begins when I reach the enclosure where the horses are. I would now be better with a shorter lens as the zoom is too much of a close up and I do not want to carry a second lens, but where there is a will (and a strong will) there is a way. The hedge is no longer there, been replaced by an open field, so I cannot lean on anything. This can be a nervous moment, but I have it all worked out. In winter I have a jacket with a zip opener. Hang the can over the top of the zip, where you hope it stays. Take the camers in both free hands and take your photo.

Horses 07.03 (4)

I am still not far enough away for an ideal photo, but am too nervous to stand in the middle of a field: just one false step and I may fall, wich is the biggest problem for me. I cannot get up on my own, and I am alone. Another precaution I take is always to have my mobile phone with me. In the worst possible scene, I can call for help. Mr. Swiss is a five minute walk away and if I have an emergency, I can always call a taxi – or an ambulance.

I do not demand of Mr. Swiss that he accompanies me every time I leave the house. I can walk, I can manage, and I can do it on my own. His last question when I leave is “make sure you have your telephone”. I do not expect him to accompany me on a photo walk. He likes to walk, but must constantly wait for me – not only because of the photos, but I am now a slow walker. And so I continue. I hear the church clock strike and realise I have now been on my way for at least 15 minutes. I decide it is time to return, and on the way may take a few more photos. I walk for about half an hour, but am away for an hour.

Church Feldbrunnen 16.02.2'18

I feel good when I return home, I have been somewhere, enjoyed my hobby and have a feeling of achievement. I am not a worrier, can relax and enjoy, but there is always a possibility that I might put a foot wrong and fall. It has happened, and I am sure it will happen again, but I refuse to give up, and  stay at home.

I can just as well have an accident at home as away. Every step I take is now an achievement for me  I notice the progression of the illness, although I have a good medicine to keep it under control. There is no pain, just a tiredness of the limbs, and sometimes a spasticity in the legs. Nervous, not really. I am not doing a bungy jump or a swim across he english channel, just taking a walk in the country with a camera – and a cane.

Daily Prompt: Of course I am nervous

10 thoughts on “Daily Prompt: Of course I am nervous

    • It is really one day at a time, as you never know what surprises happen every time to leave the bed in the morning, but there is no point in hanging your head, just find a place to hang your cane 🙂

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    • I can actually stand OK to take a photo, but must be careful not to lose my balance. I think I will have to go on the search for a nice firm chain to hang around my neck to attach to my stick when taking photos.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I lean on everything. Shopping carts are my favorite, but walls, benches, anything helps. i still have some good days, though. Sometimes, for no special reason, it’s better. I try to wrap my brain around dealing with life as it is. Sometimes, it’s a little bit dicey. I’m so afraid of falling, it takes a lot of the fun out of doing a lot of things i did on my own. i find it hard to explain it. Mostly, I really don’t WANT to explain it.

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    • I love the shopping cart, because it means that I can still shop with Mr. Swiss and things remain as they always were. Benches are a wonderful organisation and I now know the position of every bench in the neighbourhood. Unfortunately they remove some during the Winter months, but then I do not walk so much in the snow and ice. I was cooped up at home during winter, except for shopping trips with the car and am now so glad to have the choice of going out again.Falling is the big question mark, so you learn to be more careful. At home I never use a support because I can touch walls and doors, cupboards and a mop or vacuum cleaner 🙂 I can actually stand on my own for the time it takes to take a photo, but a cane gives me the reassurance I need. I notice a schub now and again with the MS – the whole thing annoys me.

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  2. Your perseverance to continue your hobby while remaining independent is surely admirable…and the very best thing that you can do for yourself! I am also afraid of falling because I have two knee replacements and I injured my back in a car accident. I have finally decided that I can’t let that fear rule my life! I have too many activities that I enjoy…places to go, people to see!!

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    • As a golden oldie my only hobbies are actually writing (which means computer) and photography. I cannot just sit around at home reading a book or watching the TV. I do not even bother to switch the TV on, I leave that to Mr. Swiss, I love reading, but keep that for the evening and I have also now discovered a good online jigsaw puzzle thing which keeps me busy in between. My walking days are now only with a camera. because walking without makes me realise how things have slowed down, with the camera I am too busy too notice.

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