I told everyone about it, I sent messages, hung up posters in the local supermarket spread the word to my friends, and the only one that turned up was Tabby, my feline and she was only waiting for me to let her in. Ok, I know cleaning the kitchen is not the event of the year. It is the event of the week for me. Of course my kitchen is clean, but only because the deep cleaning show takes place on Tuesday afternoon. I could do it in the morning, but that is the bathroom spectacular and I have to prepare the stage again in the afternoon for the kitchen. Only one spectator arrived. My other main supporter had a dotor’s appointment and so I cleared the stage.
I know it was not a première, but I had enough training to ensure that it would not be a flop. The actors were all sitting on the table waiting for it to begin. “Me first” said the kitchen machine, and so I brought her up to a super polished surface, where I could se my reflection. She was so happy, again to be the star of the show, ready for action. I now had to think things over. Everything was in its place on the table top, and my cleaning cloths were ready for action. The ladder was waiting, knowing that I could not ignore climbing to reach the high places. It was then that I heard a call from a sponge “I need water and cleaning liquid. Yes, he was right, I should give him a purpose in his absorbant life and so I filled the sink with hot water, added a splash of my super nano technology cleaning solution, Ha-Ra, complete with the special glove to spread it on the surfaces. My special micro fibre cloth was ready to wipe everything clean. What more could I need.?
In the meanwhile the cupboard doors and various surfaces were quivering with excitement. Where should I begin to achieve the pefect show. I began on one side of the kitchen and after half an hour it was finished. Everything was removed from the table and placed where it belonged. I heard a murmer of thanks and the various objects, which were now clean and shiny, began to quiver with delight: an echo of satisfaction spread through the kitchen.
I was completely exhausted. As I placed the ladder in the cleaning chamber, it murmered “see you again, same place same time” and I felt a wave of satifaction through my body. I returned to the kitchen, and was blinded with the reflections from the sun shining through the window. I was happy and so was my kitchen. I had to stand and take a bow, as the kitchen smiled and clapped in appreciation of my efforts. It was a standing ovation.
And then I awoke (I know I also hate those stories where it was all a dream). I was miserable, another Tuesday afternoon and clean the kitchen. Why do I do this to myself? It was then I felt a tug on my apron:
“Come on, time for a clean up” and the cleaning glove lead the way to the kitchen sink.