Not mine unfortunately, but a neighbour around the corner. They are beautiful to see in Spring.
Not mine unfortunately, but a neighbour around the corner. They are beautiful to see in Spring.
Dad, 100 years old, now another 8 months more, born 24.09.1915. It seems he was in a thoughtful mood on this photo. It was an exciting day: a telegramme from the queen, congratulations from all in the care home where he lived and the man of the day. Dad was never really a monarchist, he did not mind the queen, but he had his doubts. However, on that day, he was a fan. He looked at the card every five minutes, probably beause he still could not believe it. Now and again he said “100 years old”, to remind himself. Dad was not a statesman, a famous politician, but he was my dad. Served for five years in the second world war because he had to, one of those that the government told “do yout duty” and he did. Always paid his taxes, although money was not always in abundance. Enjoyed a dance at a party, liked a little bet on the horses, but never too much. We had many discussions, not always the same opinion. He never had a bank account, did not want one and the word cheque book was a no go. He was a man of paying everything by cash. He refused to have a micro wave, preferred his oven, until the time came when it was the only solution for him to warm his meals. Afterwards he loved his microwave, no problem, but that was dad. He never really believed anything unless he saw it with his own eyes, on the other hand he seemed to believe most things that the newspaper wrote. My dad sunk in thought, 100 year thoughts – who knows.
I know I wear glasses, but since yesterday I seem to be living in a blue world and have a permanent blue screen when I visit WordPress. The symptoms began suddenly. My orange focus during my blogging phases had been changed. Even my iPad is now showing blue icons. I know I have blue eyes, be it somewhat watery with age, but I did not realise that the eye colour affected the sight colour.
I had an orange grid, with an orange background – yes the human being is a creature of habit. We are used to certain sights in our life and as soon as something is changed, we are confused. I do not want to complain, I find the WordPress new style is very good. We are now observing the WordPress pages through blue tinted glasses. The psychological effect is much better, soothing to the eyes and temprement, I am almost falling asleep at my computer. The orange effect was an immediate shock daily. As soon as the grid appeared it iluminated the surroundings, but you were awake and ready to go.
I discovered many styles of glasses, spectacles, in my collection. I never needed anything for my vision at school. Mum always had glasses, but she said the doctor told her she had a lazy eye, although I am not sure what this definition describes, but mum was not a doctor and we only spoke cockney english at home. She told the story of the eye tests at school where she would learn the letters on the poster by memory before it was her turn. She was foiled, someone must have been watching, because when she was called the optician changed the card and the letters were different. At the age of 10 she had her first glasses. I cannot blame her, national health glasses supplied in 1923 were not exactly the last cry in fashion.
Coming up to modern times, I was a victim, a computer casualty. My sight was perfect until the arrival of Bill Gates and his machines. He wore glasses and decided he did not want to be the odd one out, so we had to follow. I remember the computer invasion in the office. Up to that point you had a telex machine with the printed words on a roll of paper. There were typewriters and even handwriting was accepted. Slowly but surely the computers wormed their way in the daily routine.
I even enjoyed them, welcomed them with open unspectacled eyes. It was a modern adventure and filled my office life with fun until the day when I discovered the center of my vision had a sort of spot that was just a little cloudy. No big deal, but annoying when I wanted to thread a needle. Unfortuantely the “threadneedle” programme had not yet been developed: even today you have to do it yourself. The Kindle had not yet been invented so I had to accept the letter sizes in the books and they also seemed to be shrinking.
It was time for a visit to the opticians. He discovered my sight was perfect if I did not have to read, write or work with the computer. I had my first glasses, reading glasses. I decided on the half shaped glasses, it looked good and I could perch them on the end of my nose. Luckily my nose was big enough and strong enough to carry them. I could see again perfectly.
At the beginning it was the computer, later it was reading the timetable at the bus stop or the railway station, and seaching for the right flavours of jam in the supermarket. The time had arrived for the next opticians visit. This time it was the whole thing, the bifocals. Look down if you read, look straight ahead for normal.
I have had many types of spectacles as you can see from the display above. My favourites were those on the left. They were shop bought, not from the opticians. I had to have new glasses, and whilst waiting I bought these to tie me over. I just loved the colours, really my thing. The lens were standard, nothing special to suit my vision. I kept them as a souvenir. I think they only cost fifty Swiss francs at the time.
However, many developents were happening on the vision front and one day I had my first vario lens glasses. That is what we call them in german and I think it is the same in english. I love them, I had my normal sight again: no more looking down and straight ahead, just do your thing and the glasses folow.
As I approach the final stages of my golden oldie life, I have discovered that my vision has neither worsened or improved, it remains quite stable. Last Monday I had to visit the hospital and my sight nerve was tested. Alternatively one eye was covered and I had a sort of computer game with a screen filled with black and white sqares and a red dot in the middle. Unfortunately I did not receive a mouse to catch the red dot and score points, but there were a few spreadsheets printed afterwards. I do not know what they discovered. Perhaps I have a third eye hidden somewhere: the evil eye – beware. And as I write this I am wearing my glasses, I always wear my glasses, thanks to Bill Gates and his merry men I am sure that today the opticians are making profits.
It’s raining, no it’s pouring. Mr. Swiss said the lawn was under water when he got up, but he often likes to exaggerate. Of course by the time I got up, the water level had receded, although Tabby my feline was not happy, she does not like raindrops falling on her head. She was quite worried this morning
“Mrs. Human, there is a guy over there with a hammer in his hand and a pile of wooden planks. He said his name was Noahy” and asked if I knew another feline, as he only accepted pairs.”
I had a look and indeed, he was standing there on the meadow, hammering wooden planks together and looked remarkably like a Russel Crowe lookalike. It could have been his brother, although he was dressed in a sort of mini overall and wearing brown leather strappy sandals.
“You were talking to my feline” I said.
“Yes, it began to rain a few days ago and I decided he could join my team when we set off, although I only take pairs. It is better to be prepared.” I noticed he spoke with an American accent.
“Where are you going?” I asked
“Wherever there is water” he said, “I am taking the wife and kids with me”.
“What’s in it for me and my feline?”
“You will get a mention in the credits when they make the film.”
I told Noahy to forget it, we live on the high land and it will not flood here. Even our local river flooded so long ago, people do not even talk about it today.
In the meamwhile the day began with a bang. My iPhone was already fully charged and I transferred the lead to my iPad. This is a delicate operation, all completed from the horizontal position in my bed. It is not easy to hold an iPad and fiddle with the other hand to find the place where you attach the charging lead, especially when the only illumination you have is supplied by you iPhone. It was then that something silly happened. The iPad attacked me. It became mobile, adopted a life of its own and decided to slip out of my fingers. This was no problem, the iPad arrived on the nice soft duvet on the bed where I was laying. Unfortunately on the way in its pull of gravity it rebounded off my head, my cheek bone to be exact.
This was painful and I uttered, no not uttered, exclaimed in a loud voice “ouch” (words slightly changed to escape the WordPress censur). I am now bearing a red mark on my right cheek which is quite painful when I touch it. It will eventually become blue. I think Mr. Swiss is worried as people will not believe him that his wife was injured by a falling iPad in bed. They will think up their own version of the story. There should be a warning accompanying iPads “not for applications when laying in bed. We accept no responsiblity for painful or fatal injuries incurred by iPad usage, especially by golden oldies who’s hands no longer have the power and strength for holding such a delicate instument. Daybreak usage is especially precare.” If I had seen this on my iPad, I would have been more careful and perhaps covered my face with a protective mask. Mr. Swiss was surprised when I called him to put the light on in the bedroom to take an action photo, for my blog, of me holdig the iPad to show how these things can happen.
It is week-end shopping today, so I must go. I hope I do not get too many awkward questions about my facial injury “did you hit your face on an iPad?”. It must happen all the time. Thank goodness I do not possess the new mega big model, I could have knocked a tooth out. Have fun, beware of falling iPads, attacking iPhones and nail you computer down in case it decides to move. They are all possessed.
Je gratte, donc je suis
My "bump" was in 2016, aged 48, when I suffered a stroke. This blog charts my recovery. (Header clipart licensed by pngguru.com.)
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