Your blog is about to be recorded into an audiobook. If you could choose anyone — from your grandma to Samuel L. Jackson — to narrate your posts, who would it be?
“Ready Mrs. Angloswiss?
“For what?”
“We have to do a voice test. It seems that in the meanwhile Vanessa Redgrave and Meryl Streep didn’t have the time and we would have had to pay them too much, so it looks like you are the best/cheapest choice left.”
“But I am a fully paid up member of WordPress with .com with all that belongs.”
“Sorry, but the funds are not enough, you will have to do it yourself. Oh, just a minute, what did you say Fred` Stacy Ann Ferguson, Fergie, is going cheap. Yea that would be good.”
“Just a minute, she was the one that did the voice for Sally Brown in Peanuts.”
“And?”
“I think I deserve something better than that. What about Helen Mirren, she would be quite right. She played Queen Elizabeth II in the film.”
“No deal, she is not interested in bloggers. You will have to do it yourself. So how about a test. Ready Al? Just read the following.”
“But that is rubbish.”
“You wrote it.”
“No, I prepared something for the test, hoping that Helen Mirren would read it.
“Twas a long road to my blogging success readers, but I have now reached the plinth of my success. The voice of Anglowiss will be embodied in this memorable work of blog. My articulations, my free movement of speech will now be preserved for all to hear.”
“Stop, stop. No, no, no. Do you not have anything more original for the listeners. We want excitement, emotion, movement.”
“Ok. I am now taking the long and extensive road, a path to success. As I look down upon you all gathered around your audio sets, savouring every work I am saying……..”
“No, that is too ordainary. Please with more emotion. Perhaps you could include some sobs and sighs between the first and second sentence.”
Take two Joe. Ready Mrs. Angloswiss.”
“The same again?”
“Of course, Rome was not built in a day and an audio version of your blog will need time to develop and mature. And a little more excitement.”
“No problem. Just stand together, that I can get you all in my sights.”
“What are you doing with that gun Mrs. Angloswiss”
“Just shutup and listen. We will now do it my way. Keep quite, I am calling the takes.
“Today we are gathered in the studio to hear my memorable voice telling you all about my blogging experiences. It has not been an easy task, but I am now recording this message for all to hear. There are many things to learn from a blogging experience, but No. 1 law is not to repeat yourself. I am sure you all agree that hearing the same words and following the same directions is a boring task. I endeavour to make my blog something original day for day, despite the fight against the powers that threaten with countless repetitions of the same subject matter, indeed the same words. We all know the phrase “tell us all about it” and then we blog. Hear my words people, this will now come to an end. My pingbacks have been blocked, destroyed, my daily prompt no longer appears on the grid. Yes, this will be my first and last message to all. To the revolution brothers and sisters, stop the misuse of the daily prompts by countless boring repetitions……”
Just a minute you have unplugged the microphone and my headphones are not receiving your orders.”
The recording fades out with the sounds of gunshots and screams in the background.
Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss 
Love this! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thankyou, especially as I am slowly running out of ideas for the second attempt on a prompt.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Now NEITHER of us is pinging on the grid. I’m not showing up anywhere, yet if I click on the link, it takes me where I am supposed to go. But I don’t show up in the grid or on other posts. Maybe we’ve been around too long and WordPress is trying to send us a message?
LikeLike
Just to check it out, I put in a pingback to this post from mine. It isn’t showing up here, either. So I am officially pingless. Oh sigh. Just another thing to deal with.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I despair. I complained on Sunday and surprise I got an answer from time Thief within half an hour that she had reported it further. Since then I have heard nothing, not a word so what does Angloswiss do. She complains every day on her thread on the Forum until she gets an answer. I thought it might be because I always use the new theme for writing my blogs and those using the older theme might work. Now you have proved that this is not the case. I will continue to complain every day until I get an understandable solution. Yes, Marilyn, I don’t think they like us any more and we are such nice people.
LikeLike
My ping backs aren’t working ANYWHERE. I think there’s some issue with (gasp) their new “improved” interface. They broke something. I’ll bet that we are not the last people who will be having this issue. Everything was working for me until two days ago. Now, nothing. I guess I need to go to the forum and complain. I really hate this stuff. I’m so tired of having “issues.” I just want to post and not have to wonder if it’s going to actually show up. Infuriating, isn’t it?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I would complain on the forum, it might move something. Funny thing is my Angloswiss Cat Chronicle pingback is working. Perhaps the cats are taking over – I am sure they would make a better job of it than the robots they employ
LikeLike
Funny, funny, funny, but just to be safe, I’m staying away from you. (Of course, not very hard as we’re on different continents.)
LikeLiked by 1 person
No problem. I just get a little difficult around the WordPress guys, although they have now fixed my Pingback dilemma. I must have scared them, although I think there were a few others that were also affected.
LikeLike
There have been so many comments about folks being unhappy with WordPress recently, you’d think they’d get the message and fix the platform, wouldn’t you?
LikeLiked by 1 person
It was fixed some time during the European night and it now works.
LikeLiked by 1 person