What’s your most prized possession?
The last time I wrote for this one, just 18 months ago (these repeats are getting closer and closer), I wrote all about Mr. Swiss. Naturally I wrote about Mr. Swiss, but there was a mistake. He is my pride, but not a possession. People do not own people, unless they live in ancient Rome where everyone had his own household slave. People today take pride owning objects. It might be a nice new car, perhaps a super TV set, and even we women take pride in our vacuum cleaners, the modern day slave.
I always had the standard vacuum cleaner, plug it in, switch it on and let it suck. Today I have two vacuum cleaners. The normal vacuum cleaner and the second vacuum cleaner which is hanging on the wall in my cleaning room. It is tanking energy constantly. It is, of course, not No. 1 vacuum cleaner, it is the assistant vacuum cleaner because its applications time is limited. The one I use for the in-between jobs. The big vacuum cleaner is the major operational appliance, doing its job in the morning clearing away the remainders of the day before. No. 2 vacuum cleaner is intended for usage when you have finished making a mess. It is also a Dyson (we are Dyson fans). I am very good at making mess in between. It is not my prized possession, because that would not be fair to the other prized possessions.
“Excuse me, but I am an important member of the cleaning brigade at the villa Angloswiss”
“Yes I know Dyson No. 2, but there are others. Can I continue.”
After that short interruption from an insulted No. 2 vacuum cleaner let me introduce you to the other prize possessions. They all have their own connections on my desk. Sorry, but there are interruptions, they all want to do it themselves.
“Ok, first of all there is a hanging white connection with nothing attached on the extreme right. That is my part of the job. I am the iPhone and Mrs. Angloswiss needed something to take this memorable group photo, so I am not connected. Just showing where I would be if I was there, although I now have a new place. She has now removed her bedside lamp and replaced it with me. I light her way in the dark nights – she no longer needs a lamp.”
“Yes, thank you iPhone, you did a very good job with the photo, nice and precise.”
“As always Mrs. Angloswiss. Next please.”
“Yes, that would be me on the lefthand side. I am attached to the little black box, the special connection for the Kindle. I am on the edge of the table. Mrs. Angloswiss got me a nice brown cover, one of the best, to protect me from the dangers of travel in her handbag or otherwise being perhaps dropped. It was an exclusive special offer when she bought me. Of course I have 3g meaning if she reads all her books and is far away, she can upload a new book. She even did it when she was in England. Yes I am one of the best. and now to the next connection.”
“Hello everyone, I am the Apple computer, although just connected for the photo. I have enough strength for 10 hours work without electricity and Mrs. Angloswiss just makes the attachment in the evening for half an hour. I am very practical. At the moment she is writing this blog with me, but I am not attached and am running free. Next?”
“I am the iPad, also only attached in the morning for a recharge for about half an hour when Mrs. Angloswiss arises from her sleep.I do all the work that Apple does not always have to do, an auxiliary if you like. She cannot walk around with the big Apple, so I am there to assist, to make sure she misses nothing. She might be cooking, cleaning or otherwise occupied, but I send my signal and she knows that someone somewhere wants to tell her something.”
Thank you everyone, my prides and joys, And now you can go back to doing what you usually do. I will switch on the electricity switches when I need you and stop arguing about who is the best. I love you all.