Every Picture tells a story – challenge from facebook. Leo

carousel lion “What about taking a walk Mac.”

“Leo, my name is not Mac, it is Cedric and we all know what happened the last time we went for walkies.”

“Refresh my brain Mac, sorry Cedric.”

“We went to the local park and you begged to be let off the line. Me being an animal friend took pity on a lion that spent most of its life as an enchanted carousel member, deicided to let you run free, why not. First of all you chased a little boy who mother screamed “Help my boy is going to be eaten by a lion” which resulted in another lady phoning the police and the Royal Society for Prevention to Cruelty to animals. Afterwards the police arrived and arrested me for negligence of safety to the human race and remember Leo, you spent the night in the zoo. Now answer me, do you really want to take a walk?”

“Well considering the situation last time, I will think about it. Perhaps you can keep me on the lead this time. And that night at the zoo was not too bad. Hey there was a spicy lioness in the next cage and we began to get a little close.”

“Do you want to go back to the zoo Leo, I don’t mind. The cost of your upkeep here is getting a little over the limit. The butchers will not supply me with fresh antelope and it seems that eating mice does not fulfil your appetite.”

“No, let’s leave it Mac, sorry Cedric. I will stay here, although that lioness was really something. Can we perhaps take a walk to the zoo.”

“I don’t think so Leo, it makes the zebras nervous and the elephants are also not happy.”

“I have an idea Mac, let’s go for a walk at midnight. No-one sees us, the streets are empty and we can have fun. We could go to the local park and I could run free. There would only be a couple of drunks there and they would think it was a bad dream the next day.”

“Leo, you have ideas.”

“Please Mac, pretty please, I promise to be on my best behaviour.”

“But no roaring or sharpening claws, just follow the paths and stay near me. You can be glad that I am so understanding. When I picked you up at the junk shop, I thought you would look good as an ornament in the garden.”

“Yea, I bet I was a surprise when I began to roar the first evening.” “How was I to know that you were one of those scientific experiments with freezing formulas.”

“And I thawed out nicely in your garden. Glad you took me in afterwards. It is so nice and comfortable sharing your warm bed instead of sleeping out in the cold. So let’s go Mac.”

“It’s Cedric”

“Yea I know.”

“And keep away from the zoo, it’s in the middle of the park.”

“Hey Mac look the gates open to the zoo. Couldn’t I just take a look at that sexy feline beast, just a little look.”

“Leo come here, where are you going. He’s ripped the lead out of my hand and standing in front of that lioness.”

“Hi sweetie it’s me again, the hunk of lion that did a one night stay in the next door cage. Do you think we could get a little closer.”

“I don’t know. Do you hunt?”

“Not really, my boss brings everything I eat from the butchers.”

“No fresh antelope in that case. What about child care. Looking after the babies.”

“Hey I am a lion, not a children’s nurse.”

“So what can you do?”

“I can roar.”

“So can I. You know what, you ain’t no better that the other weak kneed lions around here. Go back to your human and purr in front of the television.”

“Leo where are you? Come here, before I get arrested again and leave that lioness alone.”

“No problem Mac, she doesn’t want me. She thinks I am spoilt. Let’s go home, I think they are showing The Jungle Book on the TV this evening again. I love animal films.”

“Ok Leo, let’s go.”

So if you ever see a human walking with a lion on a lead, you can stay calm. They mean no harm.

Daily Prompt: All it’s cracked up to be – oh shutup Daily Prompt

Tell us about a time when everything actually turned out exactly as you’d hoped. A further instalment of my drain story as Daily Prompt has become a non-inspiring prompt, a catastrophe.

Cleaning the drainage

When the drain exorcist arrived we were full of hope. Could he expel the spirit that had moved into the insides of our waste water system. We could see from the beginning that this would not be a simple job. First of all he knelt on the kitchen floor and made a few incantations. He opened the cupboard to find the source of the strange glugging noises our water disposal unit was uttering. Various steps had to be taken.

First of all the drain exorcist removed our garbage can with it automatic opening lid and then he had space. The next step was to take away the “u” bend beneath the drainage. The drain exorcist proudly showed us the murky depths of the water which poured into a plastic bucket. It was black, being the colour of most evil forms. It was then that a head reared itself from the bucket, only to be cursed by the expert. It dwindled into a shivering heap screaming “No, not that, please not that” but this curse of blocked drains was defeated. The expert then produced the magical water rod. This was the non plus ultra for dispelling drain curses. It washed the malevolent cause for the blockage away with water under pressure, after inserting 14 meters of this monster into the drain exit. This process took some time, but afterwards the black murky water curse had disappeared and the water was again flowing, something like the Niagara Falls. We have a sneaky suspicion that cleaning the cat tray was at fault. We have clumping material and probably a little too much landed in the discharge pipe, forming a solid block of unappassable matter, but this part of the work was done and now we progressed to the hidden curse in the shower and bathroom.

drainage vacuum cleaner

This was not just a matter of plain exorcism, this was the real thing. With bell, book and candle you could not clear the drain of a shower and bath with a simple tube with compressed water spout. The exorcist informed that it must be done not by pushing but pulling and so he wheeled this water sucking machine into our apartment. This was the moment when I retired to a quiet room for a golden oldie rest, but unfortunately this machine was not quiet. Perhaps it was the mere resistance of the blockages of 15 years that retaliated with shouts and screams and cries of “No, not that”, but the drain man continued despite the resistance. Needless to say I did not have a quiet golden oldie sleep. Even in my closed room I could hear the mercillous cries of blockages, not wanting to be released from they happy blocking life. However, after a further hour the bathroom and shower were unblocked and peace returned to our living space.

A further shock occurred when Mr Swiss signed the receipt for the work done. Every blockage in a drain, be it poltergeist, evil curse or just a plain drain devil has its price.

As you can see I was carefully documenting the work in progress. Mr. Swiss mentioned that it did not go unnoticed that a professional photographer was at work. I was armed with my DSLR Nikon camera. The exorcist asked if he should turn to let me have full front view of him, dressed in his exorcist uniform, but I told him it was more professional if we could see the actions of expelling the devil. He spoke a few secret mysterious incantations, again causing screams to arise from the dark passages of the drainage and continued with the work.

And so another normal day passed in the Angloswiss household. I would add that those demons of the drainage do tend to smell, but you cannot engage a professional necromancer without having to endure the negative side of the beast exorcism.

Actually I was going to tell about everything turning out as I hope when I joined the daily prompt. Unfortunately it is no longer as I hoped and has developed into a large repeating disappointment. I asked the drain exorcist if he could do something, but he recommended to do your own thing and hope that it might go away, He found drains were easier to handle than blogging sites.

Daily Prompt: All it’s cracked up to be – oh shutup Daily Prompt