You step into an acquaintance’s house for the first time, and discover that everything — from the furniture, to the books, to the art on the wall — is identical to your home. What happens next?
“Looks like the new neighbours are moving in.”
My other half was inquisitive, so he was positioned at the window with the binoculars.
“Give me the binoculars, I want to see what they have. They look a bit strange, like something from that E.T. film, sort of stick people. One is the chief I think, he is giving the instructions. There is some sort of thing hovering in the air. No, wait a minute. That must be the furniture van. Now and again an armchair falls into the window of the empty apartment. Funny it looks exactly like our De Sede armchair, you know the exclusive leather chairs we have.”
“Are you sure? And look our dining room table, genuine teak, has appeared. But wait that painting, looks genuine. It is our Picasso.”
“Looks more genuine that ours. Do you think Mafia?”
“No, they seem to be harmless and Mafia speak Italian. The big stick guy seems to be giving instructions.”
“Glungo, choob, kogga wunna Klingon noH QapmeH wo’ Qaw’lu’chugh yay chavbe’lu’, ‘ej wo’ choqmeH may’ DoHlu’chugh lujbe’lu’
“Seem to be foreigners, didn’t understand a word, but it’s OK, it wasn’t Italian.”
“Do you think we can trust them. Wait a minute, look, those beds look exactly like ours. And they even have the same vaccum cleaner.”
“Must be from the Far East, the Chinese copy everything we have, although our vacuum cleaner is British, a Dyson. I think they have seen us, the guy with the wheels instead of feet is approaching us with the E.T. lookalike boss. I suppose we should be friendly. Good morning.”
The guy with the wheels turned to the E.T. lookalike.
“Earthling wogga Quapmeh chung boggle.” And he suddenly produced a sort of pointy thing in his hand.”
“Nei, nei, chumble chogga, Picasso weee” said the E.T. man. They turned and left to continue with their moving efforts.
“What do you think, can we trust them? I though he was going to shoot me with that gun thing he had in his hand.”
“Just ignore them. You cannot judge people by their appearances, they might look different to us, but they have a good taste in furniture.”
“Look one of them is looking through the window at our Tabby cat.”
“Chungle plonka weee meow” and he pointed his gun thing at Tabby. There was a flash, Tabby was startled, but she survived. Now he was walking to their new apartment and pointed the gun through the window. There was a popping sound and there was our Tabby, at least a duplicate Tabby, sitting in their living room.
“Where are you going?”
“I have seen enough, I am not sure about those new neighbours. They might have a good taste in furniture, but what is going to happen when they point that thing at me or you, just to make their new place homely. I am not sure whether I want to live next to your duplicate, one of you is enough.”
Typical man, and I was thinking of inviting the new neighbours to Sunday dinner, just to make them feel at home.
“What did you say – No! We might be on the menu.”