Daily Prompt: Litmus on the Wall – Me no speak litmus

If you had to come up with one question, the answer to which would determine whether or not you could be friends with a person you’ve just met, what would it be? What would the right answer be?

Beware the bird

I know the bird on the photo has nothing to do with litmus or questions. He was born in the local supermarket, he asked me to take him home and put him in the garden and since he has been sitting in the garden, so I decided he deserved a photo.

First of all the only knowledge I have of litmus is litmus paper from the dark days of my chemistry lessons in school. Dip the litmus paper in the substance, (animal, vegetable or mineral) and if it turns red it is acidic, if blue it is alkali and what if it does not change in colour? Then you have a problem, because that confuses the litmus and me as well.

Secondly I do not compare people to litmus paper, it is a little more complicated and I definitely do not want to befriend someone I have just met.

“Quite right Mrs. Human” said Tabby my feline. “First of all you have to smell them to see if they have a positive feline karma and examine their intentions in connection with territorial rights. Generally this will be completely negative, and for this reason we intellectual felines do not make friends. We do not need friends. If you really must have a question what about “where’s the tuna?”

“Tabby we are discussing a human question which is not the same thing as a feline question.”

“Mrs. Human, we felines believe that actions speak louder than meows, pounce while the bird is least expecting it.”

Somehow I had the feeling that my tabby cat did not exactly grasp the true meaning behind this wise inquiring question, but to be quite honest neither do I.

Do you sometimes have those strange telephone calls from someone you do not know. It often happens to all of us. It might be a wrong number; they might want to sell you something. Generally you hang up and perhaps offer a feeble “no interest” comment. Sometimes my “no interest” comments can be more than feeble, quite strong and even insulting.

I remember particularly a gentleman that was constantly calling on my mobile. I noticed the number he was ringing from was foreign. I checked it and found it to be Nigeria. As I do not know anyone in Nigeria I decided to ignore the call. However, he was persistant so one day I took fate by its hands and answered.

“Hello, hello”

Just white noise and no answer. I put the phone down, as I cannot speak white noise.

He rang again.

“Hello”

There was a voice on the line.

“Hello can you hear me, I am Ubanga, Ubanga (or something like that).”

“I don’t know you.”

“I know, but I want to be your friend”

At last someone wants to be my friend. That does not happen very often, especially a gentleman from Nigeria.

He continued: “What’s your name, where do you live?”

Was this acid or alkali? I decided it was one of those in between and I also decided I did not want to be his friend, imagining a surprise visit from Mr. Ubanga Ubanga with his ten brothers, mother and father, and a few Nigerian uncles and aunts. Not that I have anything against Nigeria, I have never been there. My answer “I do not want to be your friend” and I hung up the telephone. Since I have not been bothered by this Nigerian gentleman

In this connection I would say there is no question, no right answer, although I just met a new neighbour this week and said “Hello” without a question mark. I do not have the custom to ask people questions when I meet them for the first time. If they answer with “Hello” that is OK, we are both civil and friendly, what more could you possible need?

Oh dear, this is one of those daily prompts where I do not really know where I am going.

Daily Prompt: Litmus on the Wall – Me no speak litmus

13 thoughts on “Daily Prompt: Litmus on the Wall – Me no speak litmus

  1. I cannot it believe the prompts we’ve had lately. I try to write something most days just to keep my hand in. How do you come up with such interesting , tongue in cheek blogs? I suppose you do have help – Ubanga and your felines. I simply have countless calls from someone saying they are from BT Internet and I owe for their services. Today , I slammed the phone down next time I’m going to blow a whistle into the receiver.

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    • I live with felines for the past 12 years, so either you join them or beat them. As far as Ubanga …. is concerned, that is a true story. He really did tell me on the phone with a strong Nigerian accent and sort of Nigerian noises in the background that he wanted to be my friend. My experience with Nigerian contacts from the export business world was not so good. No. 1 rule was never accept a Nigerian Letter of credit. Life is full of surprises. I am sure your BT internet could be interesting. The next time he calls, act as if you were interested and invent some sort of story. then you will definitely have something to write about.

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    • The next time someone calls to request your time and you know they are a scam, tell them to hold on, place the phone down with a pillow over it. You can put the phone back on the hook whenever you fell like it. Makes for a quiet evening.

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    • And I just passed a comment on yours, without reading your comment on mine, although I saw it had arrived. I think we invented the litmus test in blogging.

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  2. Fluffy has got it right. We are only the servant so meow tuna is more important.
    I am now positively rude at phone calls from persistent marketers etc, and door knockers though.

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    • So am I, I have fun telling the what to do with themselves. We often get the mormons knocking and we have a church or whatever nearbye. If I have the time I love to engage them in a discussion and usually they go very disappointed

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  3. It was a silly prompt. I could ask “Do you lie?” because that’s my non-negotiable. But they could say “No” and be lying. “Are you a nice person?” Who is going to answer no to that. Do you love animals? Who is going to say they don’t like animals. Actions speak louder than answers to questions.

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