After an especially long and exhausting drive or flight, a grueling week at work, or a mind-numbing exam period — what’s the one thing you do to feel human again?
Silly question at my golden oldie age as I do not do long and exhausting stuff, being at work has been eliminated from my timetable and I passed all the exams I needed in the last 68 years. What is “gruelling”? Ah yes, I remember, a word from the olden days when I did things I had to do and not what I wanted to do.
Now and again there are little jobs that have to be done. This morning was Tuesday, the day I clean the bathroom. Why do I clean the bathroom? I really do not know, but as everyone else cleans their bathroom from time to time I do it as well. It is hard work, but I have perfected the system over the years since I belong to the non-working-for-wages population. If you do it every week, it does not need so much involvement of energy and it saves time. Not that I like cleaning the bathroom, it is the worst job in the apartment, only second to cleaning the shower. I have now reduced the cleaning time to an hour and am generally finished by 11 o’clock in the morning. So what do I do afterwards? No problem: Mr. Swiss has gone hunting in town for a few provisions and I am alone with my tabby cat. I find that my ageing bones and body need a recuperation after my efforts, so I rest for half an hour on the bed. Tabby usually joins me and we rest together, although Tabby has already been sleeping for a couple of hours, but she likes to change her position and place.
We are approaching midday and a woman’s work is never done (my mum always said), so I move to the kitchen and begin to cook. I eat lunch and after lunch relax with a cup of tea and some chocolate. Then I discover I am again feeling worn out and tired. Eating is also an exhausting pastime. I have now become a member of the midday sleeping club which is quite common amongst golden oldies, but you cannot just go to sleep. Preparations have to be made to ensure a restful undisturbed relaxation. I switch my iPhone to flight mode. With time I realised this is the quickest and simplest way to deter people from interrupting my sleep. Mr. Swiss does likewise He also blocks the land line and we are isolated, unavailable. After a two hour midday sleep I awake, refreshed and ready to go. I do not go far, just grope my way to the computer. This has also been switched off and it is time to let the electric impulses flow again through its cells.
As soon as it is alive I check to see if Facebook is still there and then move on to the daily prompt to see what brilliant ideas the men with the WordPress t-shirts have to keep our grey cells from disintegrating. It is always something completely different. Today it seems that I am resurrected according to the title, although I do not remember leaving life. Perhaps yesterday’s prompt was “Tell us about the time when you stopped breathing and your heart stopped beating” and I missed out on it.
Now the afternoon has arrived, my prompt is written and all is quiet. If it is bad weather I relax in my so-called “stress less” chair (see photo). Mr. Swiss found we should have one, so we ordered two, otherwise we would fight about who can sit in the chair. These chairs were invented for golden oldies. They are fully automatic when you sit. They bend according to the position the body needs and my body usually needs an almost flat position. Just tilted enough to see the iPad Kindle book I am reading. This is relaxation pure. I have my iPhone on the table next to me for any important calls that might arrive. If the weather is warm and sunny, it is similar. I relax on my sunbed on the porch.
Despite all these precautions to organise the third stage of my life, I have to ask myself “do I feel human”? Perhaps someone could define human. I just read an article in a newspaper (online of course) about the symptoms of unknown illnesses. If you find it difficult to hang the washing up, or reach the top shelf in a cupboard you have preliminary signs of osteoporosis. If you are out of breath when lying down, it could be you have the beginnings of a heart disease. Perhaps you are dazzled by bright lights at night, which I thought was normal. This is not the case. You have the beginnings of a cataract. You might have weak arms from hanging the washing. It is possible you have torn a rotor cuff (huh). I decided to stop reading newspapers, especially online newspapers.
And when the evening approaches it is another exhausting time for a golden oldie. Shall I watch the TV or shall I read further, or pehaps play a few rounds of Sugar Crush (a sub-intelligent computer game): the decisions I have to make! Eventually I crawl into bed, tired but happy and look forward to another reckless, lively, exciting day at home (or perhaps I might risk a visit to the local supermarket).