Which good memories are better — the recent and vivid ones, or those that time has covered in a sweet haze?
How can you analyse memories? Life is full of memories, some fade and some remain. They are similar to the clouds that swim above our heads, drifting and moving on, some form mountains, some are small hills and some just lay flat waiting to arise. This is all very philosophical but so are the memories.
I have a few vivid memories of the early days, streets flattened by bombs, remains of old houses dotted around the sites saying “I was built, housed a family, and now I am no longer”. The house memories are the reminders of what we saw. Playing children amongst the rubble of a time gone, but I remember it well. Some might say they were the bad memories, better forgotten, but I say no, they are there to perhaps remind us not to do it again, but we will.
Happy times, parties at Christmas, visits to relations, holidays at the sea with the family: all part of the past, never to be recovered and we were all in the prime of life. No grey hair, no aches and pains and our faces radiated with youth. Oh to be back in the good old days. Were they good, perhaps not, but the memories are good.
We move on, we now have smartphones, televisions computers. I often wonder what will be the memories of my children, will they laugh when they see the primitive apparatus we had and remember how it used to be.
Today I had a problem. My father is 98 years old, lives in a good place, is cared for and has everything under control. He is not in my country and I only have contact by telephone. I am his constant memory of his only child. He had an accident two days ago, nothing serious, but during the night he fell. The ambulance took him to the hospital and discovered no injuries, but the heart was no longer as strong as it should be. Yesterday he received a pacemaker. Try to explain to a 98 year old man what they have done. I had no possibility of talking to him, English hospitals do not have telephones in the rooms and I have to rely on my friend who visited him today with her mobile phone. I could speak to him. My father is full of memories of the place where he now has an apartment, people who care for him, a kitchen, and above all a telephone.
I spoke to a very confused elderly man. He was taken to another hospital by ambulance to have the pacemaker fitted and is now in the local hospital. The memory of the pacemaker being fitted has shocked him. I do not think he knows what has really happened. My friend was visiting him and took her mobile phone so that I could at least talk to him. He has never used a mobile phone, but we managed to talk. He tells me he no longer has a phone in his room, they have taken it away. I told him he is now in the hospital but in a couple of days he will be back in his flat and his phone will be there with everything else. I spoke to the nurse on duty at the hospital and explained that I am speaking to a very confused father. She reassured me she will talk to him and explain clearly that this is only temporary.
Otherwise he is OK, no symptoms of a serious illness and he has been told that he will probably have lesser problems with movement with this pacemaker. How can a 98 year old understand that the pacemaker is helping his heart to beat, he just has memories of an unpleasant interference in his body. I have a very worried father and at the moment he has a very worried daughter. It is just a matter of time, perhaps only a couple of days and everything will be OK again. I hope so, some memories can become very bitter. My father clings on to the memories of his home where everything runs to his normal plan.
Daily Prompt: Memory on the Menu and the things that memories are made of
23 thoughts on “Daily Prompt: Memory on the Menu and the things that memories are made of”
Very moving story… Poor dad.
I’m so sorry about your father. I hope he’ll be better soon.
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First I hope your father recovers quickly. Here in the states they usually wouldn’t preform surgery. I think it’s wonderful that they continue to care for the elderly.
England has the National Health System for better or worse. You do not have to pay anything and so they do what they can. In my dad’s case they were willing to pay for the pacemaker.
That is wonderful. Our healthcare in the states suck, lack of a better word.
The english system is not always so brilliant, sometimes you can wait weeks before you have a doctor’s appointment or months for an operation. Perhaps my dad had priority because he is 98 years old. I prefer the Swiss system. We have an insurance that pays 90%, the rest you pay yourself, but you are seen to straight away, can see a specialist and only wait a few days for a hospital visit and you know the name of the surgeo operating and he visits before and after the operation.
We get that kind of service depending on insurance and location. My medicare which I paid into when I work pays 80% I pay for extra insurance to cover the other 20%. No dental :-(.
I hope your father gets well soon and is back safe in his apartment. Oh, and I love your cloud analogy.
Having recently had a pacemaker “installed,” it isn’t minor surgery. It took me longer to recover from that than from some of the other heart surgeries. All surgery is hard on older people, terrifying to someone your father’s age. Be patient with him. Being sliced and diced is difficult for anyone, but the trauma for a 98 year old is hard to comprehend. My best wishes to you and him.
Very well said. My brother-in-law has had a pacemaker for many years, a few different ones. He is now around 80 years old, but has a lot of other problems as well. My dad just did not seem to know where he actually was, although he is usually with both feet on the ground. A bit obstanate sometimes, but that is one of the priorities of age. His main worry was that they had taken his telephone away. It was then I realised that he did not really know where he was and I am sure he does not know what a pacemaker is.. I think probably because he was in two different hospitals in two days. There is nothing I can do, I only hope it gets better.
You and your Dad are in my thoughts today. Sending good vibes always across the big waters.
It’s so hard to be far away when your parents are going through something like this. My thoughts and prayers are with you! I hope your dad is able to go home very soon!
Thankyou everyone for your good wishes for my dad, very much appreciated I don’t usually blog over such things, but today I just needed a ventil somewhere to let off the steam.
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Praying for the recovery of your father and that his spirit stays high!! As always, loved your blog.
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I love your style of writing — everything is just so “and that’s that” and up front. Love it and love that you always do the Daily Prompt. There are many days when I can’t even imagine how I would respond!
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I am sorry about your Dad that is worrisome and frustrating , hopefully when they get him back to his own place he won’t be as worried . I can’t say the same for here the image of a Godzilla size slug is truly horrifying I hate those things
Touched me. Hope he gets better soon. 🙂
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