Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion

Which subject in school did you find impossible to master? Did math give you hives? Did English make you scream? Do tell!

Me about 8 years old

You see at the age of about 8-10 I was even photographed at school with a book. What the book was and whether I actually read it is an open question, but it made a picture perfect, the school photographer probably hoping for a Pulitzer prize for his work. He probably did not get one, and I also did not achieve any prizes for my English. Yes, the secret is out. According to the science of pedagogic, I did not make the grade with English. Of course, I was convinced that my talents were so good, that it was just beyond the understanding of the teaching staff. They were overwhelmed with my gift and I was misunderstood. My essays were ignored, red lines crossed out words and the insult to end all insults: there was a splattering of question marks all over my efforts. Is it a wonder that I lost faith, submitted compositions where the ink was diluted by the tears I shed? And I was sure I was good, excellent, the best, but even Steven King and Dr. Seuss had their disappointments until their talents were recognised. I am sure if my teachers could now read my 51 Shades of Blog they would be impressed and tear their hair out realising that an undiscovered writing talent had been overlooked.

I read all the good books, my interest in horror and mystery was profound. The school were just supplying the wrong material. I did not want to be a second Charles Dickens or Emily Bronte and definitely not a Jayne Austin, they were just not my thing. I was more in the line of Bram Stoker, Algernon Blackwood and Dean Koontz with a sprinkling of Nate Kenyon, but it was not to be. My school was shocked and found these writers not to be the essence of good education. Perhaps they were scared by the unclaimed body parts that were sometimes left in my writing efforts.

I was misunderstood and instead of my natural writing talent being encouraged, it was scorned, ignored. I should be up there on the pedestal with Orhan Pamuk, Harold Pinter and Doris Lessing, but school ruined everything. They failed me in my English GCE examination in English, and I had to retake the examination. I took the University of London GCE first of all, but it was obvious that the experts were not trained to recognise talent. On my second try with the University of Oxford papers, I succeeded. I did hear rumours that the Oxford University paper was slightly easier than that of the London University, but they were just rumours, circulated by teachers wanting to spoil my chances of recognition.

Today I stand unrecognised, battling for the appreciation I deserve, but my chance will come: I am sure.

Of course school life was not only English. I was the best in school. My biology results were the first step to life as a qualified doctor, but this was not to be. Knowing the difference between an amoeba and mammal did not seem to be the solution. If Bill Gates had not discovered Windows before me, it would have been mine, I just needed time. I was cleaning windows already as a teenager, so what could possibly go wrong. The idea for the micro wave oven was already in existence in my brain, but again someone did the patent work.

I re-invented history at school, but there again the school tutors did not accept my ideas. I was convinced that Queen Elisabeth was an imposter and her family tree was a forgery. I was misunderstood.

I had bad luck from the beginning, but I will have my revenge one day. I will write my 51 Shades of Revenge, they will all receive their just deserts. In the meanwhile I will continue to write my daily prompts with my perfect command of the English language slightly laced with grammatical misunderstandings. Some people just do not recognise good English when they read it.

Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion

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35 thoughts on “Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion

  1. Pingback: Subjects in Distress | Views Splash!

  2. Reinvented history, hu? I gotta say that’s the first time I’ve heard of anyone trying to convince their teachers that The Queen might be a fraud. Would have made for some interesting lunch-table talk.


  3. Pingback: Giggles and some learning | A mom's blog

  4. Pingback: Land of Confusion | Lead us from the Unreal to the Real

  5. You look just the same! I definitely think you deserve an award for 51 Shades of Gruesome Silly along with my gratitude for lightening a rather grueling day of bringing my writing classes into 51 Shades of Composition.


    • Funny really, I was never that good at composition at school. I thought I was, but my teachers did not. I think most of them have passed on now, so they will never get a chance to read my blog.


  6. Pingback: Daily prompt: !%!%*&! Math! | The Wandering Poet

    • I always thought that Oliver Cromwell was the first British communist. OK, the King was beheaded and it was the only time that England did not have a monarch, but somehow I think it was more religion than communism (big black hats and puritan thoughts).


  7. Teachers are always so superior in marking our efforts whatever our age. About four years ago , I took a degree course and after submitting a very good ( well, it cost me a lot in blood, sweat and curses) essay on American Writers I received it back dotted with comments such as ” Really” and “I don’t think so” and the most cutting “Have you read the book”. I still got a pass


    • I have done many courses in my golden oldie age, but without examinations (except for my web assistant). I now just take it easy, Am too lazy to start something new.


      • I understand but you have a very full life with family, friends and followers and are younger. I live alone and it gave me something to do in the evening as my friends live some distance away. Glad your Dad Is ok.


        • I understand. I learnt Russian for 12 years in the evening, did dressmaking for 20 years in the evening and in between 2 years learning Arabic. Today I just seem to spend my evenings reading and looking in between my favourite TV programme (East Enders). That just does it for me.With age comes movement problems. Mr. Swiss is also mostly at home in the evening. I actually lead a quiet life where the fox and hedgehog says goodnight to each other in the country,


  8. Pingback: What I Didn’t Learn | Edward Hotspur

  9. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion | My Atheist Blog

  10. Loved your piece! Having lived in Switzerland for four years, I have a very soft spot for it! Did you find the Swiss education different for your children?


    • I found it better, but I went to school in the boom years, during the fifties and we were all the products of the men returning from the war in england. My kids classes were about 20-30 and mine were more 40-50 children. It was all in German, and it is expected to help with the homework in Switzerland. Also the timetables were a bit irregular. Each class seemed to have its own and they were coming and going all the time. My youngest was at the gymnasium and was automatically qualified for the university, which is not the case in England. I am very satisfied with the Swiss education system.


      • Sounds excellent! We lived near Zurich for the major part of our stay. We left when my first child was 3 nearly 4, and she picked up Swiss German playing with the children. Such fond memories!


        • I lived in Zürich 47 years ago for two years when I first arrived in Switzerland. It is only an hour away from where I live by train and my step daughter has two boutiques there. I speak Swiss German fluently as it is our house language, although Mr. Swiss can also speak perfect english. My kids are bilingual more or less.


          • I married an Italian and moved from Australia to Urbino, Italy in 1967! But have remained in contact with one English/Swiss ‘girl’ who still lives near Zurich. The world is becoming a smaller place, now we have the internet. Communication has changed vastly. Lovely to hear about your life.


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  14. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion – The Fitness Boot Camp (without boots) | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss

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