03 | October | 2013 | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss

All the world’s countries have decided that the Internet itself needs a government. Your country asks you to run for Prime Minister of the ‘Net — do you accept? If so, what will your platform be?

Photographers, artists, poets: show us LEADER.

Nera, the computer cat

“No Nera, definitely not, forget it, you will not take over Internet. It is a human thing built for human hands and not for paws.”

“But Mrs. Human my best ideas arrive when I am dozing. Just think of the advantages. Felines all over the world will have access to buying their own tuna fish supplies, a diamond studied cat flap from Swarovski, and invites to Feline world in Orlando, Florida with our own feline Lear jet. Just a paw print on the screen, and it is already booked online.”

I find when WordPress bring a daily prompt for taking over things, they should warn “Not fit for feline viewing”, although Nera has fallen asleep again so let us hope it really is just a dream.

No thank you, I do not have a death wish and being Prime Minister, even being a member of the Internet government, would be fatal. If the world governments cannot agree and have problems with their own Mafia groups, how are you to run an Internet government?

Even blogging can be dangerous. You do something harmless like sending Pingbacks, making a comment, showing a photo and you are already up to the neck in problems. You might have a pingback victim who finds this is not very nice, impertinent, and leave me alone with this rubbish. You make a harmless comment and due to the international complexity of languages on Internet, it is misunderstood. The government of a country having a revolution, will forbid your connection, find it does not comply with the safety and health regulations, their population beginning to think their own thing, and you run the risk of an assassination. As far as photos are concerned, we all live with a complex about our photos being reproduced without permission. Everyone wants watermarks on their photos, making the photo almost unrecognisable because they are worried that their photos will be stolen otherwise. I have even begun to put words on each photo I put in Internet to ensure that it remains mine.

Now they want someone to take over and play Internet policeman. There are the spammers, those that make no stop at using the telephone to tell you to give immediate access to your computer. They are calling from Windows that there is something wrong with your computer. We even had an article in our local newspaper today warning about this state of affairs. They are attacking our little market town, calling innocent citizens for access to the computer. They even called me, although I hung up on them. When I look out of the window I can see them, all lined up sitting on a fence with their laptops and iPhones ready to attack. Yes. they all have a strange likeness to Mark Zuckerberg.

And now someone should take charge, be a target for a mad Trojan or a contact for a dreaded virus disease where no cure has yet been found.

I would say tell Bill Gates. He invented the whole windows nightmare, so let him be the target for an assination by bytes. He could form a corporation with that Mark Zuckerberg bloke, the one that brought Facebook into our lives. As a team they would be indestructible. It is a shame that George Orwell is no longer amongst us, he could write the statutes to guide the company, something like big computer is watching you and there is nothing you can do about it.

“Mrs. Human, I am now awake and had a feline dream. Felines take over the internet.”

“No, Nera, it does not come into the question. There is enough chaos in the world.”

“But the great author Terry Pratchett said “Humans, eh? Think they’re lords of creation. Not like us cats. We know we are. Ever see a cat feed a human? Case proven” and that would explain it all, so move over Mrs. Human Cyber Nera is here.

Daily Prompt: New Internet Order

Internet Pingbacks