Write an anonymous letter to someone you’re jealous of.
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Dear Inuit, Australians, Antarticans and Articas, Polar bears
How I envy you all now. Here I am sitting outside on the porch, suffering temperatures of 30-35° C in Switzerland, longing for a cooling breeze and there you all are loving every little ice crystal and snow flake that freezes in the air.
I was going to start this blog by telling everyone what a perfect person I am and do not have a jealous bone in my body. After cooking lunch I decided the hot sun beating down (although I have a sun shade on the porch) is not exactly the right climate when sweltering over cooked rice, pork chops and vegetable.
Eskimos I envy you for your igloos. Just chop a block of ice out of the surroundings and pile it upon another block. Eventually you have a completely insulated ice house. The only ice I have at the moment is in plastic bags in the freezer ready for a cooling drink. My main occupation is to maintain the supply. Those ice cubes are used up quite quickly in the hot summer weather.
Polar bears you feel great swimming in ice clear pools of water. I have never heard an ice bear complain of the cold, but put him in a zoo in our country in summer. You have to make sure he does not dehydrate.
“Mrs. Human” and my chief feline Nera drags her fur bound legs towards me.
“Where is the zip, I cannot find it. Or the buttons?” she asks.
“What do you mean Nera?”
“You humans undress for something lighter in this hot weather and we felines also want to undress. I want to unzip my fur coat. That will do, just to cool down a little.”
“Oh Nera, I am so sorry, but feline fur coats are not made to be removed. Mr. Human can cut some bits and pieces out of your coat, where the snails are stuck and various twigs have entwined themselves, but he cannot remove the complete fur.”
“No Mrs. Human, he snips away with the scissors and that can be a risky job. He might spoiI my beautiful appearance and then all the other felines will no longer be jealous of my wonderful luxurious looking body. I just want to take my coat off.” And she stamped with her paw to emphasise the point.
I explained that it would not be possible, so she disappeared under a shady tree where she is now sleeping and conserving her energy.
Yes people of the Southern hemisphere, we in the North are just a little bit jealous. Kangaroos are now hopping around without a care in the world in the cool climate. Even the wombats are doing wombat things without a care in the world. Everything is so nice and cool down under at the moment.
I will now come to a close on this letter as the sweat is pouring out of my computer keyboard. Even the bytes are heating up in the computer and my brain is becoming overheated (yes I have one).
Australians and South Africans, you may write a letter of revenge when you are sitting on the beach in the sun eating your Christmas dinner and plunging into the cooling waves of the sea. Even that is not a possibility in Switzerland, the guy who designed the world forgot to put a coastline around Switzerland.
Have fun everyone wherever you are and spare a thought for a golden oldie who has problems with cooling down in the hot weather.