If you could be a “fly on the wall” anywhere and at any time in history, where and when would you choose?
Photographers, artists, poets: show us SNEAKY.
Wait, just a minute: do you really think that I, Buzzy, as a fly am just going to sit on a wall somewhere and study the surroundings and human conversation? I am a fly; I am born to ensure that my species expands and thrives. Just sitting around and listening will not do the job. We flies lead a life of stress. First of all we have to keep the females happy, and that is a hard job as a fly. Have you ever watched two flies sitting close together? Be honest, of course you have. It is a long job and hard work, needs concentration, and afterwards there are many mouths to feed, although the ladies usually lay their eggs in a place of nourishment to ensure that our children thrive.
This brings me to eating. Eating requires 90% of our time We have quite a rapid digestive system. If you add the 10% time spent in reproduction of the species and keeping us fit and healthy, it will be obvious that we do not have time to just sit around and be “sneaky”. Flies are not sneaky, we have a quest in life, and to fulfil this quest we do not just sit on any wall.
There are hazards in the job, but we are quick. Our favourite places of enjoyment are food centres. Restaurant kitchens are a paradise, but even the homely kitchen of a housewife, does the job. We flies do not sleep very much, not really necessary, life is short so enjoy it when you can. You never know when a fly swatter or even a hand might bring your earthly presence to an abrupt end, although we have an uncanny sense of movement. Have you ever tried to swat a fly with your hand. Of course, but the fly wins all the time. We know what is coming, before the human even thinks about it.
We do sit on walls, but are particular about which walls. The human conversation is not so interesting as the actions. How often have I had the enjoyment of pouncing on a freshly spread slice of bread complete with butter and jam? We flies just love sugar in all shapes and forms, it can be spreadable, solid and even contained in a drink. We are not fussy; it is the essence of a fly’s life. It makes no difference whether the sugar portions are in the conference room of the CIA, on the Queen’s tray when she takes her breakfast in bed in the morning, or even in the development section of Microsoft. Discussions about new computers, who really killed J.F.K. or Mossad plans to decide who will be the next in line for an assassination are of no interest to a fly. If there is sugar somewhere, we will be waiting to pounce.
One of our members might be at this moment sitting on a telephone in Moscow listening to a conversation between Mr. Putin, the Russian President, and an American spy. If our fly brother was interested, he would know which exact secrets Mr. Putin knows and whether the American spy will be granted exile in Russia. This does not interest the member of our fly family, he is only interested in the sugar contained in the fruit salad that Mr. Putin is spooning out whilst talking, hoping that a few drops of the precious fruity liquid may fall on the table, or the floor. The spy is sitting in a secret room somewhere in the world and munching a hamburger. The member of our fly family has his taste buds tickled by the aroma coming from the meat of the hamburger, and in a moment of distraction, he will pounce and take a sample.
So do not ask about which wall we would like to sit on. A fly’s life is short, so take what you can when you can. I am now off to the chocolate factory. I spotted such a lovely lady sitting on a piece of chocolate as I flew over. Have to hurry, there are a few hundred of my friends buzzing around, so I have to arrive first.