Tell us a joke! Knock-knock joke, long story with a unexpected punchline, great zinger — all jokes are welcome!
Photographers, artists, poets: show us FUNNY.
Are you sitting comfortably, then I will begin. They were always the first words of the children’s story hour on the BBC news when I was too young to write blogs.
My humour tends to go into the direction of black, so the jokes I remember are usually the ones with a shady side.
My oldest son, who is autistic, once told me about the skeleton that entered a bar and asked for a drink and a floor cloth – short and sweet. There was also the piggy that said to the plug on the wall “Oh, you poor thing, who walled you in?” but here is one I remember that appealed to me.
There were three men that always met in the local pub after a day’s work. They would talk about their jobs and asked each other how the day went. One of the men worked at the local cemetery, but his remarks were a bit too dismal for the other two. When asked how the day was his answer was usually
“Just the normal day. We had two burials and three cremations. Nothing new.”
After a while his two colleagues were not so happy with the direction the conversation would take. Talking of death every evening with a drink was not there idea of fun, so they told their colleague.
“Sorry, but that is the way things go” the colleague answered.
One of the men had an idea.
“Instead of the negative details, just cut it short. Say you had a No. 1 for a burial and a No. 2 for a cremation.”
The colleague working at the graveyard agreed and told his friends in the evening he had three number one’s and two number two’s, meaning three burials and two cremations.
This all went well until one day he told them he had a number one, two number two’s and a number three.
“Just a minute” said one of his friends. We agreed on No. 1 and No. 2. What is a No. 3.”
“As you know things change and even the graveyard is not spared from modern developments. I will explain. We had a normal burial, and two cremations. Then we had a No. 3. The customer was one of those environmental friendly people. He found the natural way was the best. So we had a decomposition.”
I heard this joke in German, so had to do a translation.
Had to make this a shorter blog as Mr. Swiss is cutting the hedge and I am the bring me, fetch me and clear it away. He cuts the hedge and I sweep it all together for the green disposal to put in the special collection bin, where it is taken to the local place to be decomposed and transformed into agricultural fertiliser.