What’s the most surreal experience you’ve ever had?
“MEOW help, they are coming to get me” and Nera fell from her pole position on the cat play center. Tabby her litter sister rushed to see what had happened and Fluffy turned his head in her direction when she landed on the floor with a thump.
“Nera what is the matter. I told you not to eat too much tuna. Now you have the result. You have lost your balance because of your weight problems. Give yourself a lick and you will feel better.” said Tabby.
“I did not fall from my pole position on the cat gymnastic centre because of my weight problems which I do not have, I had a bad dream. Hundreds of glowing felines with staring eyes were after me. They wanted to dissolve me with their green and organge liquids.”
“Cool down Nera, I dream all the time, although I have never had glowing felines in my dream, but now and again a glowing mouse that always seems to escape just as I had my claws ready to pounce.” Fluffy was trying to help, but Nera was not interested.
“Fluffy, this is serious and no Tabby, a lick will not help and if you are insinuating that I am overweight, it is just fluff. I can still hear the growls and the bubbling of their poison. Green and orange, just terrible. I am sure I will not be able to close my eyes again for a long while.”
“Nera perhaps you ate something that didn’t agree with you. I told you that eating tuna after fresh mouse is not good for you. That mouse looked a bit dodgy as well. Probably gave himself up. Seems to me you are a bit slow on your legs these days.” said Tabby.
“Tabby that mouse was very tasty, are you jealous that it was my paws that caught him? I am not slowing down, I just do not like to rush around, it spoils the rhythm of my wonderful feline movements.”
“I dream all the time Nera, but only of nice things like mouse holes, birds sitting within paw distance and lots of wonderful juicy butterflies flying around my nose. Then I really sink into a Nirvana sleep.” Fluffy was trying to reassure Nera.
“Fluffy, you astound me. You mean a sleep like the imperturbable stillness of mind after the fires of desire, aversion, and delusion have been finally extinguished.” said Tabby.
“Yes exactly Tabby, you have brought it to a point.”
“Excuse me Tabby and Fluffy, but I do not want to interrupt your mystic conversation, which seems to be drifting onto a higher level of my understanding, but I was woken up by something surreal, a progression of Dada, it was a horror dream, a catmare – get it?”
“Nera, we know the solution. Fix your eyes on your photo of Garfield, signed by his pawprint. Make two circles with your wonderful streamline body, close your eyes and sink into oblivion, thinking only of your hero, Garfield. He will rid you of all negative surrealistic thoughts.”
And so Nera sunk once more into a sleep. Her monsters had disappeared and she was soothed into sleep by the visions of her dream cat, Garfield. She decided it might have been the food, although it could also have been the film she watched on the television, Cat People. It disturbed her to think that humans could change into cats.
Photo: my own with some changes made in a photo programme